Fallen Hero
by ziva2012
Summary: After a tragic accident changes his life forever, can Jack be the hero he once was? Note: I have re-posted this story to correct punctuation problems. See my website, for this story and more.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

The tall lithe blonde walked out of the ensuite bathroom, stretching her arms toward the ceiling as she moved gracefully across the bedroom floor. Taken off guard by her beauty, the man on the bed sat up suddenly. Then he told her to stand still and turn around.

The woman put her hand up to her hair, running her fingers through the long strands, and not just for the effect. She liked having him look at her, but sometimes his rapt gaze could be a bit unnerving. In the past few weeks she had seen a weaker more vulnerable side to the man she called her CO, and it was a side of the usually macho man that she liked very much. He was infatuated with her, of that there was little doubt, and the knowledge made her feel more feminine and more powerful at the same time.

But she still followed his orders, no matter how smugly confident she might be feeling.

"Stop, hold that pose! That's it. Just like that. I want to memorize the way you look."

"You planning on going somewhere without me?" she asked, only half joking.

"No, never!" He would never deliberately leave her. He loved her beyond measure, and he was fairly certain that she loved him too. However, he knew from experience that life could be cruel, so he wanted to burn this picture of her into his mind, just in case.

But rather than worry her with his insecurities and fears, he made her a promise.

"I'll always be here for you. Always!" he vowed.

Chapter one

Stretched out on her belly in the dirt, Sam Carter peered through the underbrush, the thick branches the only things hiding her and her injured CO from the hostiles.

She had literally stepped into the hole before she saw it. Then she had dragged him into the shallow place under the bushes just before the group of angry natives came running past. Now she was grateful for the shelter the shallow hole provided, and she prayed it would be enough to keep them safe until help arrived.

As the sound of the footsteps and angry cries faded away, she turned her attention to the colonel's injuries, hoping she would discover that they weren't as serious as she'd first thought. When she looked back at him, he was laying on his back, his left arm across his eyes. And when she touched him just above the blood-soaked trouser leg, he quickly lowered his arm, his hand knocking hers away.

"I should take a look at your leg, Jack."

"No, don't waste your time, Captain. It's busted up real bad," he told her with difficulty. His teeth were gritted against the pain, but he still wasn't going to give in and call her by her first name. He wasn't some boy who needed the comfort of his mommy! He was a decorated officer in the USAF, and he had his pride, damn it!

His leg had looked awful in the light, with blood covering almost every square inch of his lower trouser leg, so she didn't argue with him. Instead she decided to see to his other injury. Shoving aside the bottom right front of his

jacket, she gently began pulling his black T-shirt out of his pants. The soft cotton fabric stuck slightly on the shaft of the arrow which was still protruding from his body. The pain made Jack wince.

"Careful!" he yelped, touching her hand with his. He held on for only a few seconds, trying to calm his breathing.

"Sorry. I need to pull out the rest of the arrow, before I can sterilize the wound," she said as she shined her flashlight on it. Only a few inches of the wooden shaft remained, since Jack had broken off the rest of the arrow right after it struck him.

"No, leave it. The arrow may be keeping it from bleeding. Let Fraiser take it out later," he said as though this sort of thing happened to him every day. The truth was it happened to him much too often, and he was getting tired of always being a target for anything and everything they came across.

"Okay," she replied, although she wasn't feeling as confident as Jack. Would they be found in time? If he didn't receive medical help soon, he'd probably bleed to death from his leg injury, or he'd get an infection from the damned arrow. And there was no telling whether or not the arrow had been dipped in poison. If it had been, he'd most likely be dead in a few hours or less. Thankful that she always kept pain killers and a few other necessities in her jacket pockets, Sam took out a packet containing two pills. She broke it open.

"Here! At least take this for the pain," she insisted, and then she shoved the pills into his mouth. While supporting his head with one hand, she held her canteen to his lips while he drank, washing down the pain relievers.

Bent over him like she was, she could almost imagine they were together under better circumstances. Just a few weeks ago they had been in Washington, DC, where they'd been honored at a banquet at which the President had presented them with awards for saving the planet. New medals had actually been designed just for the occasion, since there were no awards appropriate for their particular type of work. That night after the event Jack had wanted to be with her, but Sam had decided she could no longer continue their illicit affair. Lying and deceiving the people who put their utmost trust in her just wasn't in her nature.

Sam sat back on her heels in the tight hiding space and recalled the day she told Jack she couldn't see him anymore. He hadn't taken it very well, which hadn't surprised her much.

"_I don't get it. How can you do this? How can you pretend like what we had doesn't matter to you? Sam, I know you care about me," he argued, as he held her arms tightly, so tightly that she knew she'd be bruised the next day._

"_Stop it, Jack! You're hurting me," she complained as she squirmed free. He hadn't apologized, and she hadn't backed down. Then he had gone to his hotel room, leaving her there alone to cry for the love she had lost. And the next day they had sat side by side on the commercial flight back to Colorado, neither one speaking to the other. _

_The following day at the SGC she had been the one who came to him to plead for his cooperation. _

"_I'm not going to ask for a transfer, Sir. Although that did occur to me, I feel we're both capable of putting our feelings aside for the sake of the program. Sir?" she asked, when he didn't even look up from the papers on his desk. It angered her some, because she knew his attention wasn't really on the reports; it was on trying to ignore her! As usual he wasn't willing to talk about his feelings or hers!_

"_Yah, Carter, I heard you. The briefing on P2X-905 will be at zero seven hundred tomorrow. Be on time."_

"_Yes, Sir." _

So that was it. Their affair was over and done with just like that.

Sam had left Jack's office that day knowing that she had destroyed more than just his love; she had ruined their friendship too. On the other hand, she felt certain that she had done the right thing for all concerned, no matter how awful it made either of them feel. They were just two people. Their lives didn't matter when so much more was at stake.

Now here they were fighting for their lives on yet another alien planet, and Sam regretted that she'd never told Jack she loved him. Somehow she had to keep him alive, so that one day she would have a chance to not only tell him but to show him how much she really cared!

"Sir? Sir, I think it's safe for me to try and reach our packs now," she told him, always cognizant that he was the one who gave the orders. When he didn't answer, she realized that he had passed out. Figuring that it was up to her now to do whatever was necessary to facilitate a rescue, Sam proceeded without an order from her CO.

About two hours earlier they had become separated from their teammates, as well as most of their gear, when the hostiles had begun firing arrows into their camp. She had no idea where Teal'c and Daniel were now, but she judged that she and the colonel were situated approximately half a mile directly east of their campsite. Slowly emerging from the shallow hole on her belly, Sam heard nothing but insects and birds in the surrounding forest. And since the sun would be setting in less than two hours, she thought she should go now, before it was too late.

She ducked back under the bushes and knelt down next to Jack's chest. "Sir? Sir, I'm going back to camp now," she said, although she thought he wasn't listening. Was it already too late for him? He looked awfully pale.

"Be careful, Sam," he said, his voice not much more than a whisper.

"Yes, Sir! You hang in there," she told him, giving him an affectionate pat on the arm. She felt a bit encouraged now. Maybe she could save him after all!

Sam not only reached their campsite, but she found Daniel and Teal'c too. And just an hour later the two men were carrying Jack down the gate ramp on a stretcher.

"Get him to the OR stat!" the base CMO yelled to her people, after taking a quick look at Jack's leg. They pushed Jack away on a gurney, while Sam followed him as far as she could with her eyes. Their CO was waiting to speak to her, so she didn't dare leave with the man on the gurney, even though she dearly wished she could.

"Captain Carter, what happened?" General Hammond asked. He was worried about her state of mind. He had spoken to her just now, but she obviously hadn't heard him. "Captain Carter?"

"Sorry, Sir, I'm very concerned about the colonel. His leg looks pretty bad. I wasn't able to set it. Maybe if I had…."

Hammond interrupted her. "Captain, I doubt there's anything you could have done any better," he assured her kindly. "Now go get checked out in the infirmary. We'll debrief at fourteen hundred hours."

"Yes, Sir," she said, and then she walked out of the gate room with Daniel at her side.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up over something you couldn't help," was the first thing he said once they were out in the hallway.

"You're wrong; it'll be my fault if he dies. I blew it, Daniel." Teal'c was a few steps behind them, but she didn't care if he heard. Somehow she knew Teal'c would never repeat anything he heard her say. And besides, she was certain he understood. As First Prime of Apophis he had been responsible for the life of his leader. So it was with her and Jack.

"Sam, it won't do Jack any good for you to second guess yourself. What you need to do now is be strong for him. Be here when he wakes up, just like he's always here for us."

Sam just bowed her head and kept walking toward the elevator. Nothing anyone could say would change her mind. She had failed Jack when he needed her the most. She just hoped he would forgive her for it. As for the other thing….she didn't think he'd ever forgive her for forsaking his love.

Later during the debriefing Dr. Janet Fraiser was there to inform them about Jack's condition. She also did all she could to ease Sam's mind regarding her responsibility in the matter.

"There wasn't anything you could have done, Captain Carter. His leg was crushed."

"Crushed? But it can be repaired, right?" Sam asked, unable to hide her concern. She'd had a terrible time getting him out from under the rock slide the natives had caused. Now she knew just how badly he'd been hurt, but she still couldn't give up hope that he would be alright again! The opposite was unthinkable!

"No, I'm afraid not. I'm sorry, there was nothing I could do to save it. I had to amputate his left leg just below the knee." Janet hung her head for a moment before continuing. "The good news is the arrow wasn't poisonous, and it didn't hit any vital organs."

"Thank you, doctor," George replied sincerely. This was something he hoped he'd never have to hear. One of his best men, and a man he admired despite his idiosyncrasies, had just lost not only his leg but his career. But it's better than losing his life. I just hope Jack agrees, he silently told himself. He knew how self-destructive Jack had been on his first mission to Abydos, and he knew what had brought about his mental breakdown. Now all he could do was pray that this trauma wouldn't send him over the edge, that this was nothing more than a bump in the road of Jack's life, instead of an obstacle that he could not overcome.

"Barring unforeseeable complications, he should be able to be moved in twenty-four hours," Janet added.

"Moved? Moved where?" Sam asked quickly. She kept her hands folded tightly on the conference table, in order to prevent them from shaking.

"Janet gave her friend a sorrow-filled look before answering. "He'll be moved to City General tomorrow, or as soon as he's stable."

"Why not to the Academy Hospital?" Daniel asked innocently. He noticed that the knuckles of Sam's hands had turned white, and he was pretty sure she didn't want Jack to leave the SGC anymore than he did.

"Jack's not military anymore," was all Hammond said on the subject, but everyone knew what he meant. Jack was being issued a medical discharge. His career in the Air Force was over.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Twice the following day Sam, Daniel and Teal'c went to the infirmary to see Jack, but both times they were told he was asleep.

The second time Daniel pulled Sam aside before she got off the elevator. "I've got a lot of work today in my lab, so I'll be here late. You wanna have dinner with me later? We could go check on Jack afterward," he suggested. He knew she must be anxious to see him, even more than he was.

"Yeah, sounds good. Thanks, Daniel. You're a good friend." She really appreciated Daniel's concern for her and for Jack. In many ways Daniel had become more like a brother than her real brother, who wanted nothing to do with the military or anyone in it. But there were still things she couldn't share with him, so she waited a minute and then she got back on the elevator and went down to Janet's office.

Her best friend, who was also the base CMO, was seated at her desk with her head in her hands. Sam immediately felt sorry for her. Removing Jack's leg must have been very difficult for her, even if it was done to save his life.

"Janet, is this a bad time?"

"Is there ever a good time? Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Please come in and sit down, Sam. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. You know, you have a right to feel depressed sometimes too. After all, you're only human."

"Some of my patients might disagree with you. In fact I've got one right now who thinks I'm a monster, or at the very least a dictator bent on making his life miserable. He's just too proud and stubborn to see that I'm trying to help him."

"Jack?"

"One and the same. But I'll deal with him just like I always do. Now….what can I do for you?"

"I want you to run a test on me."

"I don't think you're due for anything," she said as she reached for Sam's file. Since Sam had just been given her post-mission physical, the folder was still on her desk. "Aren't you feeling well?"

"I have certain symptoms. I want you to run a pregnancy test." Sam watched as her friend paused and looked at her, her brown eyes speaking volumes.

"Of course, if that's what you want." Janet was surprised, not that the birth control Sam was on hadn't worked, but that Sam was having sex with someone and she hadn't told her. She thought they had grown close, but now she had to wonder. "Why do you think you may be pregnant?" she asked, trying to sound totally professional.

"I have all the symptoms; sore breasts, nausea, weight gain, and I haven't had a period in at least ten weeks."

"Not having periods as often is normal for someone on the birth control you're using," Janet reminded her.

"I know. Just test me, will you?" Sam insisted somewhat crossly.

"Alright, I'll run the test myself. But if the result is positive, I'll have to tell General Hammond."

"I know."

"Sam, honey, is this something you need to talk about?"

"I don't see how talking about it will do any good, Janet," Sam replied sadly.

"Okay. Well, if you feel differently after we get the results, I'll be here for you."

"Thanks, Janet."

After Sam left, Janet went to check on her patients. She figured she'd run the pregnancy test right before leaving for the day. Then, if she needed to speak to Sam privately, she would go to her lab, or maybe to Sam's house after work.

First on her list was the blonde sergeant who was always getting hurt. "Sergeant Siler, you're going to be just fine, but you really need to be more careful." This time he had second degree burns on his right forearm. It seemed like each week he had some sort of injury or other.

"It doesn't feel so bad now that you've put that stuff on it. Can I go back to work now?"

"I'm sorry, Sergeant, but you'll have to take at least a week off. And then you'll need to wear an elastic bandage on your arm for probably another two weeks after that. You can go home tomorrow morning, but I want to see you every day to change the dressing. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Janet smiled at him. He was a nice man, always a very cooperative patient. If only her other patient would be as agreeable! She entered the first private room next to the ward room, wondering what sort of greeting she'd get this time.

"How are you feeling, Colonel?"

"Why do you keep asking me that? I feel just as shitty as I did the last time you asked. In fact, I'd feel a lot better if you left me alone," Jack replied hatefully.

Janet swallowed the honest, but inappropriate, comment she thought about making and instead said something totally appropriate and banal. "I'm sorry if I keep disturbing you, Sir, but it's also a part of my job to gauge my patients' mental state."

"And what do you think of my mental state, Doc?"

"I'd say it's perfectly normal, under the circumstances, for you to feel angry."

"No shit! I woke up and my leg was gone. Who wouldn't be pissed?!"

"Of course. You may experience some feelings…sensations that seem to be coming from the limb you lost."

"I didn't lose it, Doc. You cut if off, remember?" Jack responded derisively.

"If the pain is too great, or if it bothers you in any way, I can prescribe something."

"You've got a pill for everything, haven't you, Doc?"

"No, Sir, I wish I did." She turned to go, but then she stopped and looked at him. "I understand you've been refusing to see your team. You know they're worried about you."

"Tell 'em not to bother. I'm fine. Besides, they're not my team anymore. I don't have a team. And stop calling me Sir. I'm Mister O'Neill now." The truth of the matter was he didn't want to see the pity on their faces. He knew what they must be thinking; he was a washed up cripple now, with no future. The only thing he knew how to do had been taken away from him by a bunch of stupid savages. At least Sam had already dumped his sorry ass before the attack, so now she wouldn't have to make excuses for not wanting to commit to someone like him.

"I hope you'll change your mind about seeing them," Janet told him. "You know, just because your life is changing, doesn't mean all the changes will necessarily be bad. Life is what we make it, for the most part," she said, and then she left him alone to wallow in his self-pity. If that was what he wanted to do, she couldn't stop him.

Now she needed to find out if Sam's life was about to change drastically as well, so she went straight to her lab. And when the result was positive, she shook her head and sighed. It seemed like today was full of rude surprises. Some doors opened, while others closed. In Sam's case, this was a door opening. But would she consider it a door of opportunity, or an imposition and something that would hinder her career? Janet didn't know how Sam would perceive it. She just knew that her friend's life was about to change forever.

Sam was staring at her computer's monitor when she heard the click-clacking of high-heeled shoes on the concrete floor. She looked up to find Janet standing in the doorway. She couldn't read her expression, but she suspected a personal visit must mean that the news was not good.

"Janet! I was just about to go meet Daniel for dinner. Do you want to join us?" she asked casually. She knew she was avoiding the subject Janet had come here to discuss, but she couldn't help it; she was scared to death!

"Sure!" Janet said in a normal voice. Then under her breath she added, "That way I can make sure you're eating a more healthy diet for you and the baby."

Sam took a deep breath and hung her head. She had known the truth even before Janet had told her, but it was only after hearing the words from Janet's mouth that it felt real….frighteningly real. "What am I gonna do?" Sam asked, choking back her tears.

"First you're going to keep a stiff upper lip and come and have dinner with me and Daniel. And then later I'll come to your place, and we can figure out what to tell Hammond," Janet told her quietly, her back to the security camera. "Come on, honey, let's go eat something."

Sam was very grateful to have someone like Janet on her side. So she phoned Daniel and told him they were on their way up to the commissary. Then she turned off her computer and locked up for the day.

Janet walked along beside Sam, not speaking until they got on the elevator. "Do you intend to tell Daniel right away?"

"I may as well; he'll find out soon anyway." Soon she would be removed from SG-1, and then, when she started showing, it wouldn't be long before everyone would know that she was pregnant. They just wouldn't know who the father was, although she was certain there would be a lot of speculation, and that Jack's name would come up.

That reminded her of something she needed to know. "I tried to see the colonel twice today, but I was told he was asleep."

"Asleep my ass! He's just feeling sorry for himself," Janet informed her. "You shouldn't give up on him. He likes to pretend he's tough, but he's really not. He'll see you eventually. Just be patient." She wondered just how close the two had become and whether or not Jack was the father of Sam's baby, but she decided to keep her suspicions to herself. She had no doubt that in time Sam would tell her everything.

"Maybe I'll look in on him later." Sam tried to sound positive, although she doubted he would change his mind anytime soon. She figured Janet was right; Jack probably was feeling sorry for himself. Under the circumstances, wasn't that understandable?

"The military was his life, Janet. Now he's no longer fit to serve his country. I can't imagine how hard this must be for him," Sam said, a sob escaping her throat. Having gotten off the elevator, the two women stood in the center of the corridor as marines and airmen passed them by.

Janet grabbed her elbow and steered her toward the nearest storage room. They went inside and Janet shut the door and turned on the light. "Honey, you've got to calm down. Yes, I'm sure it'll be hard for him, but life does go on." She was thinking about the baby. If it was Jack's, it might help him to know. "There are plenty of other ways he can contribute, plenty of other things for him to look forward to," Janet said, hoping Sam would take the hint.

"I know that, but does he?" Sam looked at her friend, and her eyes filled with tears. She felt so helpless! How could she tell him all the things she needed to tell him, if he wouldn't see her? Janet handed Sam a tissue, which she used to wipe her eyes and blow her nose.

"I'm okay now," she lied. Sam felt very guilty. She was certain he was still angry with her because she had ended their affair. She couldn't really blame him, but surely he realized everything was different now? Now they could be together without having to worry about rules and regulations! But what if he couldn't forgive her? And how was his disability going to affect him both physically and mentally? If being unwilling to see his friends was any indication, he seemed to be off to a rocky start.

Once Sam got her emotions under control, she and Janet went into the commissary, where they found Daniel and Teal'c already in the serving line. At Janet's insistence, Sam picked some strawberry yogurt, a blueberry bagel, and a cup of herbal tea. Then she sat with her friends and ate like a robot, not really tasting a thing.

All she could think about was Jack. Would he be able to deal with his disability better in time? And if he couldn't get past it, what would happen to him? She didn't know, but she knew all this worrying about him was not good for her or the baby.

She felt exhausted, although she figured this was partially due to the pregnancy. She also was too distracted to concentrate on her work. So she decided she would go with Daniel and Teal'c to try and see Jack one more time that day. And then afterward, whether they were successful or not, she would go home and try to get to sleep early for a change.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

In the hospital Jack continued to avoid his ex-teammates, but one evening he got a visit from Daniel. Knowing how persistent the younger man could be, Jack wasn't really that surprised. After a few minutes of pleasantries, Jack tried to get rid of him.

"I'm tired, Daniel, so if you don't mind…"

"I **do** mind, Jack. I've got something else I need to say to you. Just because you're hurting doesn't mean you have the right to hurt the people who care about you."

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are! Why are you refusing to see your friends? I had to bribe a hospital employee to get in to see you just now! Teal'c and Sam are very worried sick about you. Well, Sam is. You know Teal'c; he doesn't say much, but I know what he's thinking. I'm worried about you too!"

"You don't need to be. I'm fine! Or at least I will be as soon as I get outa here," Jack complained.

"When will that be?" Janet had told him that Jack's doctor had spoken to her just today, and the news had not been encouraging. He was refusing to talk to the on-staff psychiatrist, and he was refusing to even talk about getting a prosthesis fitted.

"Another week, and then it's adios, Colorado!" Jack replied with mock cheerfulness.

"Where will you go?" The thought of Jack leaving the state, going someplace where they'd never find him, entered Daniel's mind, leaving him feeling panicky. When Sam found out, she'd be devastated!

Jack had been thinking about nothing else lately, but he still wasn't sure where he would go or what he would do once he got there. He just knew he had to get away from anything and everything that reminded him of what he'd lost. It wasn't just his career; it was Sam. He didn't want to risk running into her, because he never wanted to see the look of pity he knew would be in her eyes. He wasn't the same man she had known. He wasn't the capable CO she had followed into battle, or the strong man she had loved. He was nothing but an empty shell now with nothing left to offer anyone, least of all someone like her.

But he knew he had to give Daniel some sort of answer, so he lied, mostly. "I've got a friend in Alaska. He wants me to come up there and work for him."

"That's great, Jack! What sort of job is it?"

"Eh….he has an airstrip. He needs someone to help him run it." His friend from his Black Ops days did live in Alaska last he'd heard, but he had no idea what the guy was doing, or if he was even still there.

"That sounds like something you'll enjoy, Jack. I'm happy for you."

"Yah, well now you know, so you can stop pestering me."

Daniel didn't say much more before he left, except that Sam was no longer on SG-1. And though Jack wondered why she had chosen her lab work over gallivanting all over the galaxy, he didn't ask. Later when he thought about it he felt relieved, because he wouldn't be there to watch her six.

Sam was in her lab running a simple test for the third time. It was a test she'd run many times before, so it wasn't really that difficult. But lately her mind just wasn't on her work. Practically all she could think about was Jack and how he was feeling, and what he planned to do now that he was no longer in the Air Force. The truth was she was worried sick about him. She wondered how he was handling being a civilian, and how he was dealing with the loss of his leg.

As for telling him he was going to be a father again, she wasn't sure that was something she should burden him with, now or ever. Besides, she could handle it on her own. She was used to taking care of herself, had been since she was twelve, and she didn't think it could be that hard taking care of a baby too. But she knew about Jack's past problems with depression, and that was what worried her the most. Could he handle another major setback in his life without going off the deep end?

She had tried seeing him both here and in the hospital in town, but each time she had been given one excuse or another. At first she had figured he just needed more time to adjust to everything, but after three weeks of being put off, she had decided that this was the way he wanted things to stay between them. So she had finally stopped trying to see him, but that didn't mean she no longer cared. She would always care about Jack. How could she not? She was carrying his child inside her, a fact that would be harder and harder to forget as her waistline grew.

At twelve weeks along she was sure everyone could see the slight swelling below her BDU shirt now, so she kept it buttoned all the way down the front. Sam suspected by the stares she was receiving lately that there were already rumors floating around about the reason she had been removed from SG-1, especially when she wasn't assigned to another off-world team. So as she made her way up to Daniel's lab, she kept her head down, at least hoping to avoid the blatant stares of those who were the most curious.

"Hey, you got a minute?" she asked as she hung in the doorway. Just that morning General Hammond had mentioned that Daniel had spoken to Jack the day before. So, since he hadn't come to her to share the news, she had come to him.

"Sure! I'm sort of tired of Ancient Sumerian anyway. I can finish this translation some other time. Sit down," he said as he picked up the stack of books that had been occupying the only other chair in the room. "I'll make us a cup of green tea," he said as he lifted the tea kettle from the propane burner, testing its weight to see if there was enough water inside. Satisfied he set it back down on the burner and lit the gas with a long-handled lighter. Then he began locating another mug and the tea, which he kept on a shelf in an old spice tin that had belonged to his mother.

Sam looked around her at the many shelves and tables covered with dusty books, pottery, statuary and other things, some of which she recognized. She picked up the Eye of Ra necklace which had been a gift to him from Katherine Langford before his first trip to Abydos. She could still recall the first time she'd seen it and the story he had told her about how the Abydonians had thought he was a god when they saw it.

"What's she doing now, do you know?" Sam asked.

"Actually I talked to Katherine just last week. She's writing a book of her memoirs. You're in it, by the way."

"_Me_? Really?"

"Yes, in fact she's dedicating a chapter to you….the one about the stargate and the time she spent working with….and I quote, 'a brilliant young physicist as beautiful and brave as she is smart.'"

"Wow! But she can't ever publish it." The stargate was a secret worth keeping. She believed that, and she thought Katherine did too.

"Not now maybe, but she hopes that one day maybe her descendants will."

Sam nodded. She understood completely. She often wished things could be different, that the world could know what they did here. But for now it was one of those things that she was being paid to protect.

Daniel put some tea leaves into the ceramic teapot, and then he poured in the boiling water. He suspected that Sam had heard he'd spoken to Jack. He couldn't blame General Hammond for telling her, but he dearly wished he hadn't because Daniel didn't want to be the one to tell her that Jack still didn't want to see her.

"How are you enjoying life in the lab so far?" he asked, hoping to steer her in another direction.

"It's okay. At least I'm still here at the SGC. I don't know what I would do if I was given another assignment."

"They'll never let you go, Sam. You're irreplaceable around here," he assured her, but she shook her head as though she didn't believe it.

"General Hammond said you saw the colonel yesterday."

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I did." He had seen him twice, but he wasn't about to say so, as he knew it would hurt her feelings.

"How does he seem?" she asked as she watched him pour the tea.

"Oh, you know Jack. He always acts like nothing matters that much to him, but I could tell he misses….being here," he said, choosing his words carefully.

"But apparently he doesn't miss me."

"Sam…."

"It's okay, Daniel. I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. After all, I was the one who broke up with him."

"You did? I mean….Sorry, you just never said what happened between the two of you, and I assumed…. Well, Jack can be very hard-nosed and private, so I thought he was the one who…"

"No, it was me. I just couldn't go on living a lie. You know how it is, Daniel; my career has always come first with me. So when it came down to it, I chose the Air Force over him. I hurt him, Daniel, so it's no wonder he doesn't want anything to do with me."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself. No man should expect you to give up everything you've worked so hard for."

"Oh, he didn't! Actually he offered to retire again, but I wouldn't let him. He was needed here, Daniel, just as much as me. He still is," she said insistently. "Which reminds me, I wasn't surprised that General Hammond offered Colonel Reynolds the lead on SG-1. Do you think he'll accept?" For the past three weeks SG-1 had been on stand-down, but then on Monday the news had come down that Reynolds was being offered the lead.

"I'm not sure. I'm sure he hates to leave his men."

"What about Teal'c?"

"Teal'c approves of Reynolds, but I'm not sure it will be enough to keep him here. You know he came here because of Jack." Sam nodded. "Actually I'm moving to another team myself."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I heard that Balinsky is leaving SG-13, so I talked it over with Hammond. He agrees that I would be a good fit." The original team members had all been military, but they also had various degrees in the sciences, and Balinsky had been their archaeologist.

"Colonel Dixon seems easy going," Sam remarked, thinking that Daniel and Jack hadn't gotten along so much as they'd agreed to disagree.

"Yes, he seems to be. They'll be moving Carpenter up to lead his own team, so he'll be replaced too."

"Wow, there are a lot of changes happening all of a sudden." Sam was beginning to feel left out, not that she hadn't expected to feel that way eventually. It just seemed to be happening too quickly.

"You miss gate travel already, don't you?"

"Yes, but it's okay. Soon I'll have so much to do that I won't have time to think about what you and Teal'c are doing out there. Just be careful. You won't have me watching your back anymore."

Daniel just smiled and nodded. He'd miss her too, but at least they would still get to see each other every week. Whereas them seeing Jack ever again seemed doubtful. He hadn't told her that Jack might be going to Alaska. He figured why step on her while she's down?

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

Before Jack was even released from the hospital he called his friend, Chris McNab, who it just so happened did still live in Alaska….Juneau to be exact. And though Chris didn't have a business of his own, he was involved with planes.

"I fly tourists around in a float plane. You know, so they can get a close look at the glaciers. I even land on them sometimes…the glaciers not the tourists," he added with a chuckle. "The pay is good, and I don't have to work when the weather's bad. Come on up, and I'll introduce you to a few people in the business. As good as you are, I bet you get a job offer in no time."

"I doubt that. I don't get around so good anymore. Lost my left leg a few weeks back in a accident." He'd have to start from scratch; take lessons, and pass tests in order to get a license, and he didn't feel up to it.

"Ah, hell, Jack, that's rough. Flying accident?"

"No, but let's not talk about it. How are _you_? Did you ever marry that girl you were living with?"

"As a matter of fact I did. We have five kids now."

"Five! Wow, once you get started, you don't quit," Jack laughed.

"Yeah, Marie finally made me get snipped, 'cause she didn't want any more babies. I heard what happened to Charlie. I'm real sorry, Jack."

"Yah, he was a great kid."

"You still with Sara?"

"No, she left me after Charlie died."

"Shit, that's harsh, man!"

"Yah, well, I guess I deserved it. Listen, would it be okay if I came up to see you in a week or so? You don't have to put me up or anything like that, just show me around town."

"I can do even better than that. If you want to, you can use our hunting lodge. Actually it's an old cabin that belonged to my wife's father. But he's dead now, and no one ever uses it. It's not fancy, but it's in a nice spot out by a little lake. I think you'd like it there."

"Thanks, Chris, it sounds good. I'll phone you as soon as I book a flight."

"Yeah, call me and I'll pick you up at the airport. It's good to hear from you, Jack."

"Same here! Thanks, I'll see you soon!"

After Jack hung up he felt a little bit better. At least now he had a goal in mind, although it didn't involve much. He loved forests and mountains, and he'd have a friend in town and a roof over his head, at least for a little while. He'd have his retirement salary and a disability check coming in too, so he wouldn't be hurting for money. He could even buy his own place, if he wanted to. If he liked it there well enough, that is. What he would need was something to keep him busy, but he could figure that out later on, once he got the lay of the land.

When Jack was released from the hospital the following week he took a taxi home. He was pretty good at using crutches, having used them so many times before, so he got around okay. He decided he might try one of those prosthetic things later on, if he felt he really needed it. For now he was just happy to be able to move around the house on his own. As far as the pain he felt in his missing leg, he was able to deal with it most of the time through sheer will. When that failed and he couldn't get to sleep some nights, he would take one of sedatives the doctor at the hospital had prescribed.

Next he had to decide what to do about his house. He really loved it and hated to sell it, so he listed it for sale, but at a very high price. He also arranged for the listing agent to take care of the property for him, like seeing to it that the yard was maintained and that repairs were made when needed. So now all he had to do was pack up his personal belongings and his clothes, decide what to take with him and what to throw out, and he would be ready to move to move North to Alaska!

Jack arrived in the capital of Alaska the following Thursday afternoon with two suitcases, one duffle bag and two boxes of his most treasured personal possessions. Chris met him at the airport as promised, and together the two tall men loaded Jack's stuff into the Hummer. Chris was broad, where Jack was thin, but otherwise they were a lot alike. Even their coloring was the same, and both had dark brown hair with some silver in it. And as they loaded the truck, women passing by turned to look at the two attractive men, even though one of them was hobbling around using a crutch.

Chris turned his head and gawked at a tall blonde girl who couldn't have been more than twenty. She looked back over her shoulder at Jack as she passed by, and Chris laughed. "You're gonna do okay up here, Jack."

"Nah, it's you they're looking at. Not a guy with only one good leg," Jack responded. Then he quickly changed the subject. "This is some ride you've got here," Jack said as he opened the passenger door. He got in, but not without some trouble. He was thankful that Chris did not offer to help him.

"When you've got five kids and two dogs, and you live up here, you need something big enough and tough enough," Chris replied as he climbed up behind the steering wheel. "You good to go?" Chris asked, glancing very briefly toward Jack's missing limb.

"Yah, sure you betcha!" Jack replied cheerfully. He was still having trouble maneuvering with only one foot, but he was determined not to be a burden to anyone.

"I'll take you to Pop's cabin first, so you can put your stuff away. Then you're having dinner with Maria and me and the kids."

"Are you sure? I don't want to put you out? Loaning me the cabin for a while is more than enough."

"If I don't bring you home with me, my old lady will have a fit, so shut your trap!"

"Yessir!" Jack replied, giving Chris a half-assed salute.

"I haven't been your CO for many moons, Jack, so just call me Chris…..or Pit Bull."

"You know about that?" Jack asked, laughing. It was the nickname he and the other guys had called their CO behind his back.

"Yeah, I know about it. But what I don't know is who started it?"

"Hey, don't look at me! They were already calling you that when I got to camp." Jack had been only nineteen when he'd first met Chris who was ten years older, which meant he was 56 now. Jack thought the man looked great for his age. "I thought the name fit you though," Jack added with a wicked grin. Chris responded by slapping the back of Jack's head.

"Just like old times, right Airman O'Neill?"

"If you say so, Pit Bull." Both men laughed big belly laughs as they drove off down the street.

Twenty minutes outside of town, where the roads were unpaved and the forest was so thick that the sunlight barely reached the ground, they arrived at the cabin. Jack liked it immediately because it reminded him of the one his Grandfather had built in Northern Minnesota. It was small and simple, but sturdily built. When his grandfather died Jack had already been stationed overseas, and since he had no siblings to care for it, the cabin had fallen into disrepair. There was no telling what shape it was in now. And though Jack had considered going there to live, he knew he wasn't capable of making the old place livable.

"This is great, Chris," Jack said enthusiastically, as he inspected the big bedroom. Not only was there a large bed, there was also a desk and a bookcase filled with books. There was a fireplace in the living room and also baseboard heaters in each room. "But I can't accept this without giving you something for it. How about I pay you eight hundred a month rent?"

"Five hundred and you've got yourself a deal. All I ask is that you try not to break anything that belonged to Pop, and you don't burn the place down. Marie would shoot both of us. I'll show you where the generator is before I leave, and the propane tank was just filled, so you should be set for a couple of months. The local gas company comes out and fills it regularly."

"How can I pass up a deal like this?" The two men shook hands, and then Jack checked the refrigerator to see how much room there was inside. He figured he'd need to rent a car and go get some chow pretty soon, but he found the box full. "Hey, you bought all this stuff for me?"

"I couldn't very well leave you out here with nothing to eat, now could I?" Chris had stocked it with enough food for two weeks, plus two twelve-packs of beer.

Twenty minutes later…

"You always did know what I like," Jack commented, as he sat on the sofa tipping back a bottle of beer.

"Yeah, I did. You remember that little red-haired Navy nurse down in Sydney? What was her name?"

"Carla." Jack remembered her alright. She had almost made him late for his flight. One more hour in that hotel with her and he would have ended up in the brig.

"Yeah, Carla. You really had a hard-on for her."

"Yah, I did. But I got over it," Jack said with a chuckle.

"Next thing I knew you were married with a kid on the way."

"Yah, I met Sara that year when I went back home to see the folks. She was a friend of Joe Taylor's sister. Remember him? He was in Kuwait with us."

"Yeah, I remember. Remember his sister too. She had long black silky hair and big tits. Her name was Tricia. I sure loved them tits!"

"You love anything with tits, Chris," Jack teased. "Five kids, Jeezus! It's a wonder Marie didn't have you castrated!"

"You were always ready for a little something too, as I recall. I'm surprised you haven't hooked up with someone since your divorce. Or have you?"

"Actually there was someone, but it's over." He didn't like to think about Sam, so he tried to push the image of her smiling face out of his mind. He still missed her something awful, but his macho side wouldn't allow him to admit it. He might not be the same man he was, but he still had some pride left.

"Well, there's always more fish in the sea, Jack. Knowing you, I'm sure it won't take you long to find someone to warm your bed at night, and in the daytime too," the older man assured Jack. "Hell, you may only have one leg, Jack, but as I recall it's that other appendage of yours that the women really enjoy," he said with a wink and a smile.

Jack just laughed, but inside he wondered if Chris was correct? Maybe he should try to meet someone else? After all, Sam had made it clear that she didn't want him anymore. Besides, if he hadn't been good enough to hold her interest before, he certainly wasn't good enough now.

That Sunday at Chris and Marie's house Jack met a Native American man who owned a gift shop in town. He said he needed someone to help out on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, which were the busiest days of the week. He sold pots, jewelry, blankets and other crafts made by the Native Americans who lived in the area. Most of his customers were the tourists who got off the cruise ships. Jack thought the job sounded like something he would enjoy, and the talk of pottery reminded him of his mother. When he was a child his mother had worked in clay, and he could still recall her trying to teach him how to make a pot on her big wheel.

So Jack gladly took the job, figuring something new might be just the thing to take his mind off the people and things he wanted to forget.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

About a month after Jack was released from the hospital in Colorado Springs, Janet got an unexpected phone call from him.

"Well, Colonel, this is a pleasant surprise!"

"It's just Jack now, remember?" he asked pleasantly as he sat in his truck. Driving into the nearest town was the only way his cell phone would work, but he didn't mind. At least this way no one could pester him. Not that he thought Janet ever would. She was okay, unless he was sick and in her infirmary, and then…watch out for those big needles!

"Sorry, Jack. It's just so hard to think of you as non-military."

"It's okay, even I sometimes forget. Listen, the reason I'm calling is I'd like to find out more about getting that prosthetic limb you mentioned."

"That's good to hear. Why don't you come down here? I can go over the information with you. And there's a doctor here in town who…" But she didn't get to finish before he cut her off.

"No, I'm not in Colorado anymore. I need someone in the Northwest, preferably Alaska."

"I see! Then I think I have just the doctor for you. He specializes in prosthetics. Hang on a minute." Janet put down the phone and went to her computer, where she searched for the information in her phonebook. Then she read Jack the phone number of Dr. Richard Brennan. "I worked with Richard when I was stationed in Washington. He's retired from the Air Force now, though. The last I heard he was working at the Veteran's Hospital in Anchorage."

"Thanks, Doc!"

"No problem. I'm just glad you've changed your mind."

"Yah, well sometimes I can be a little hard-headed," Jack freely admitted.

"You don't have to remind me," she laughed good-naturedly. "Listen, Sam has been asking questions about you. What can I tell her?"

"Tell her I'm doing okay and to stop worrying about me."

"Maybe you could call and tell her yourself," she suggested.

"Let it go, Janet. That ship has already sailed." There was no way he would call Sam! Even though he'd give just about anything to hear her voice again, he was more afraid of hearing the pity she no doubt felt for him.

After his conversation with Janet, Jack called Dr. Brennan and made an appointment to see him. Soon he would get an artificial leg and foot, and then at least he'd look like a whole man again. Plus he'd be able to get around better. He wasn't kidding himself; he knew he'd never be the man he had been, but maybe he could have some semblance of a real life. As for Sam, he hoped she'd move on and find someone who was worthy of her.

As she often did, Sam was having lunch with Daniel in his office. The months had passed by rather quickly since Jack had left, as working on one new exciting project after the other helped to take Sam's mind off Jack….at least at first. But recently, now that she was nearing the end of her pregnancy, she found that nothing could keep her thoughts from turning to him. Not only did she wonder how he was doing, but she also thought about the fact that her baby was going to grow up without knowing its father.

Sam sighed. At least she had two wonderfully attentive male friends who would make great uncles, even if one of them was an alien from another planet. She knew without a doubt that both Teal'c and Daniel would spend time with her child once it was born, just like they were spending time with her during her pregnancy. Daniel had even gone with her to the child birth classes, and Teal'c had helped her put together a baby bed and a changing table. Yes, the guys were definitely a Godsend!

Unlike Jack, they haven't abandoned her, she thought spitefully. Then she bowed her head and sighed once again. She knew that wasn't really a fair assessment, because Jack didn't even know about the baby. But still he had moved away without even saying good-bye! What kind of friend did that?

But he's not your friend. You destroyed the friendship when you ended the affair. You hurt him, and you got what you deserved, she reminded herself.

"Sam? What are you thinking about?" Daniel asked, looking at her over his cup of coffee.

"Oh, just how lucky my son is to have two fine uncles like you and Teal'c." She had decided to find out the sex of the child in advance, and since then she'd been preparing the nursery for a boy.

Suddenly she felt a very strong sort of grabbing sensation in her abdomen. "Oh!"

"Oh?" Daniel asked, studying Sam's face. He thought she looked very surprised about something, and of course one thing came to mind. "Is something wrong?"

"No, not wrong," she said through gritted teeth. "But I think I may be going into labor," she declared as she tightly gripped the hand he offered her.

Six hours later Daniel was still holding Sam's hand, but now he was coaching her breathing while Janet delivered the baby. By the time it was all over, Daniel and Sam were both in tears, while Janet was all business.

"I couldn't have done it without you, Daniel," Sam told him honestly.

"That's what uncles are for, Sam," he said, smiling till his eyes seemed to disappear in his face. They watched in awed silence as Janet cleaned out the baby's mouth and nose. Then Sam managed to pull the top of her gown down off her shoulders, and Janet laid the crying infant across Sam's bare chest, where both women encouraged the baby to suckle.

Daniel moved to the side of the room, but he continued to watch as his friend fed her son for the very first time. He felt a little uneasy about seeing Sam's breasts, but mostly he felt guilty about being there in Jack's place. Over the months Sam had told him more about her relationship with Jack and about the break up, and now he hated that Jack wasn't there to see the birth of his son. He knew that Sam had tried to tell Jack about the boy, and that it was Jack's pride that was keeping him from finding out that he was a father again.

And Sam wasn't much better. He had offered to tell Jack about the baby, but Sam had forbid it. And now here she was giving birth to a child that she would have to raise on her own. Why do they both have to be so pig-headed, he wondered for the umpteenth time.

Meanwhile, Sam cooed to baby, calling him 'my sweet boy', as the baby latched on to her left nipple and began to nurse.

"Have you decided on a name for him yet?" Daniel heard Janet ask.

"Yes. I've decided to call him Daniel Jacob." Sam saw Daniel turn and look at her with surprise in his eyes. "Daniel Jacob Carter," she said as she stroked the back of her son's downy head with one finger.

"Sam, are you sure?" he asked. Daniel was flattered, but again he just didn't feel right about what was happening.

"Yes, I'm very sure. You're a good man, Daniel," she replied. "You're a much better man than…." Sam broke off before she finished what she'd been about to say. A sob caught in her throat, and she hated herself for even thinking such a horrible thing about Jack. He was a good man. He just had his own problems to deal with. Something terrible had befallen him, and besides he didn't even know about the baby. So it was totally unfair for her to ridicule him.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," she said aloud, but there was a faraway look on her face, as though her mind was on something or someone else.

Both Daniel and Janet just looked at each other with sad eyes. They suspected Sam was speaking more to Jack than to the baby.

"It's okay, honey." Janet patted her hand. She didn't know what else to do or say at that moment. But she knew one thing; she intended to do everything she could to see to it that both Sam and little Daniel felt loved and happy. And she was going to start by including them in her Christmas plans.

Christmas that year was special in a bitter-sweet sort of way. Jack was not there, but there was a new baby to take his place, and there was Cassie who was still young enough to believe in Santa Claus. So after attending Cassie's school play, in which she played a sugar plum fairy, everyone gathered at Janet's house for Christmas Eve dinner.

At first Sam had refused to go anywhere for Christmas. She was still on maternity leave, but she felt like there wasn't enough time in the day to do everything. She felt exhausted from not getting enough sleep, and she wondered how she would be able to go back to work and care for a baby too. She also thought she looked terrible. She still had a few pounds to lose, her hair looked limp and dull, and her breasts leaked all the time.

But Daniel had convinced her to go, and now she was glad she was there. All of her friends were there, including General Hammond and his daughter and granddaughters. And Janet's house looked like a fantasy land, every inch of it decorated in bright lights and colorful ornaments, thanks to the hours and hours Sergeant Siler had spent decorating it. His wife and sons were there too, and the two teenaged boys had helped him with the decorations.

And then there was little DJ, who was the hit of the party. For a few hours Sam didn't have to lift a finger to care for her son, or to do anything else for that matter, because her friends were so eager to hold him and to wait on her.

After Cassie went to bed, the adults exchanged a few gifts. Sam got perfume and a book of nursery rhymes from Daniel and Teal'c, and Janet gave her a set of bath products which she claimed would relax her at the end of a busy day. Since Sam rarely had time to take a leisurely bath, she wondered when she'd use them, but she thanked her friend none the less.

At one point Sam watched Janet as she leaned over and kissed Daniel on the cheek, thanking him for the necklace he had given her. Sam smiled to herself as she thought how perfect the two were together. Over the past three years she had seen them grow closer and closer. And though sometimes she felt envious, most of the time she was happy for them.

Then, after all the gifts were exchanged and everyone was preparing to leave, General Hammond pulled her aside.

"Sam, I heard from Jacob this morning. He just wanted to let you know that he's sorry he can't be here."

"Is he alright?" she asked anxiously. She had seen her father only once since he'd joined their allies the Tok'ra and that had been before she found out she was pregnant. Since then all they'd had were communications via the Tok'ra and one call by radio…the call during which she'd told him she was pregnant.

"Yes, he's fine. He said he'll try to come and see you and the baby as soon as he can," he told her in a reassuring voice. Sam merely bowed her head. She knew it wasn't really her father's choice, that he had to do whatever the Tok'ra High Command told him to do. He owed the Tok'ra his life, but even so she wished things could be different.

So another Christmas passed. And though the holiday had its pleasant moments, Sam thought it was one of the worst Christmases of her life, second only to the one the year her mother had died.

That winter Jack heard about the bad flu bug going around, but he figured that since he didn't go into town very often, he was safe from catching it. Then one day he woke up feeling like a truck had run over him. Every muscle in his body ached, plus he felt overly warm. But he forced himself to get up, to be strong and not give in to whatever this was. He also tried to eat his usual breakfast of oatmeal and canned peaches, but before he could even finish the cereal, he started feeling nauseous. Then the headache began, and though Jack took a pain killer, he threw both it and the oatmeal up.

The rest of the morning he lay in bed contemplating the possibility of dying out there all alone. How long would it be before someone, probably Chris, found his body?

"Ah, hell!" he cried in frustration, wiping his hand over his now-drenched forehead. Jack really didn't want to put that sort of burden on his old friend, so he decided he needed to get help before it was too late. But since he didn't have a phone of any kind, he would have to drive to the nearest neighbor. So, with much difficulty he pulled on his boots and his parka and went outside. His Jeep was parked about fifty feet away from the cabin, under a small lean-to. He thought he could make it if he tried.

There was no wind, not even a breeze, but there were big puffy black clouds in the sky to the west that foretold of the bad weather approaching. Jack began walking toward his Jeep, every step sapping what little energy he had left. Not sure he could make it, he stopped and looked at the trees that surrounded the cabin. He had only felt this alone a couple of times in his life, but somehow this seemed much worse.

He wished he could go back to a time when he had been happy at the SGC, especially to the time when he and Sam had been together. But he knew that could never be. Even before his accident, Sam hadn't wanted him anymore, or at least she hadn't wanted him as much as she wanted her career.

Jack could feel tears stinging his eyes now. "Shit!" he swore, thinking that he should be trying harder to get to his truck, instead of standing here like some helpless ninny! He quickly swiped at his tears, his finger touching his hot cheeks. He was burning up, and his vision was beginning to blur. So he put one foot in front of the other and forced himself to continue walking.

The next think he knew he was waking up on the damp ground, and there were snowflakes falling on his face. And though he tried to get up, his vision kept going from flashes of light to inky black.

Sometime later, although he had no idea how much time had passed, he heard voices.

"Help me! I'm here!" he called out loudly, or so he thought.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

At first when Daniel felt his cell phone vibrating, he didn't want to answer it. But then he thought maybe it was someone calling to wish him a Merry Christmas, so he pulled it out of his pocket to check the caller ID. The number was one he didn't recognize, and the area code was not one he knew either.

"Who is it?" Janet asked quietly, her brown eyes wide with curiosity. Her other guests were busy watching the DVD of "The Mummy" which Teal'c had given Daniel for Christmas.

"I don't know. Hello?" He answered the phone and heard a stranger's voice call him by name.

"Daniel Jackson? My name is Chris McNab. You don't know me, but I'm a good friend of Jack O'Neill."

"Jack?" Daniel asked, loudly enough that everyone heard. All heads turned toward him, Sam's big blue eyes staring at him hopefully.

"Yes. I'm afraid I have some bad news." Daniel's heart slammed against his ribcage as he imagined that this was the phone call he dreaded. There must be something terribly wrong with Jack! Otherwise why would a stranger be calling him?

"What happened?" Daniel asked. By now Teal'c had paused the DVD, and everyone in Janet's living room sat staring at him. He noticed that Sam's face was more pale than usual.

"He's in the hospital, in pretty bad shape. I almost didn't get there in time," the man said.

"What? I don't understand." Now Sam was standing up, so Daniel held up his hand and shook his head, indicating that she should stay where she was.

"I'm sorry, I'm not explaining myself very well. I went to the cabin to check on him and found him laying outside in the snow. Apparently he was sick and was trying to get help. He had the flu that's going around, but now he has pneumonia. He's delirious most of the time. The doctor said I should locate a family member or friend, just in case," he added.

"Pneumonia? Going around where? Where are you, Alaska?" Daniel hadn't heard from Jack since he left town, and the only clue he had was what Jack had told him about having a friend in Alaska.

"Yes. Jack's been living in Juneau for the past six months. Sorry, I thought you knew."

"He did say something about having a friend up there, but….well, let's just say he wasn't very forthcoming about his plans. I haven't seen or heard from him since he left Colorado."

"I see. Then maybe I shouldn't have called you, but I didn't know who else to contact. Your number is on speed dial in his cell phone. I tried a Sam Carter too, but there was no answer." Chris had found the phone in Jack's dresser drawer at home when he went looking for an address book or some idea as to who he should call. Before finding it, he hadn't even realized Jack owned a cell phone.

"It's okay. I'm glad you called. Sam Carter's here with me now. We've been worried about him," he said as he looked over at Sam. "Give me the address of the hospital. I'll fly up there as soon as I can."

"It's the only hospital in town," Chris laughed. "Better yet, I'll meet your plane. Just phone me when you've made your flight plans."

"I will. Thanks!"

Daniel hung up feeling stunned but also very excited. "That was Jack's friend, Chris McNab, calling from Juneau, Alaska. Apparently Jack's been very sick, and now he's in the hospital with pneumonia."

"Oh, my God!" Sam collapsed onto the sofa behind her, feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of her sails. Cassie put her arms around Sam and hugged her.

"He'll be okay, Aunt Sam. He has to be!"

"I would go, but I've got patients in the infirmary," Janet said as he looked up at Daniel. She didn't want to say it, but she didn't really think another doctor would help anyway. She'd probably just be in the way. "I will call the hospital up there though, just to make sure he's getting the proper treatment."

"Yes, I think that's a good idea. I guess I better see how soon I can get a flight up there," Daniel announced as he opened his cell phone. Chris had made Jack's condition sound dire, so Daniel figured there wasn't any time to waste.

"Book two seats. I'm coming with you," Sam said quickly as she stood up once again. She had to go! What if Jack died, and she never got to see him again?

"What about the baby?" Daniel asked.

"We'll take him with us. I need to go home and pack," she said, and then she hurried to the bedroom to fetch little DJ who was asleep on Janet's bed.

"Honey, are you sure you're up to it?" Janet asked as she came into the bedroom behind Sam.

"Yes, Janet I'm fine." Sam checked his diaper, and finding it dry enough, she began putting him into his snow suit.

"I could keep DJ for you," Janet offered. She could tell when Sam was determined to go, so she wasn't about to try and talk her out of it, but DJ was another matter. "Traveling so far with a two-month-old baby will not be easy. Besides it's probably colder up there than it is here. Do you really want to subject him to that?" She wasn't sure Sam had thought this through. She was running on emotion, not logic.

"I have to take him, Janet! Jack has to see his son at least once," Sam said with a look of steely determination on her face. "Besides, it would take twenty-four hours to express enough breast milk to keep him fed while I'm gone, and I don't have that long."

Janet realized that Sam was right on both counts. "Okay, but please take care of yourself, and call me!" She gave Sam a hug and DJ a kiss on the cheek, before wishing them a safe trip. And then she and the rest of her guests watched from the front porch as Daniel and Sam drove away.

After changing planes twice, first in Los Angeles and the second time in Vancouver, they finally arrived in Juneau late the following afternoon. It was Christmas Day, but all Sam could think about was that this might be the last time she saw Jack alive. Even the Christmas decorations that were hung all over the town couldn't make her feel any better. And Chris and his wife Marie were very warm and welcoming, but she couldn't really enjoy meeting Jack's friends because she was so worried about him.

Sam was allowed to sit by Jack's bed, but she was required to leave DJ out in the waiting room, so Daniel and the others took turns holding him. And eventually the hospital staff set up a crib in the waiting room.

She stayed with Jack that first night, only leaving long enough to feed the baby and to get something to eat and drink before the cafeteria closed. Jack was delirious most of the time, babbling about things she could only imagine, things she suspected were memories from his past, like the time he was in a prisoner of war camp in Iran. It wasn't something he had ever mentioned to her, but Daniel had told her about it one time when Jack was in the infirmary. He had been delirious that time too, from a bump on the head he'd received during a mission.

And then there were times when he seemed lucid, like now. He was staring at her with an intense look of concern on his weary but handsome face, and Sam's heart swelled with love for him and with hope.

"You shouldn't be here. I told you to go home," he said in a whining voice.

"No, Jack, I want to be here with you. I love you! I'm so sorry for the things I said." She thought she was finally getting a chance to ask for his forgiveness.

"I know, but you shouldn't be here! It isn't safe. Please, Sara, do as I say," he begged.

"No, Jack, it's me Sam….Sam Carter." Her heart actually hurt, like someone had stepped on it, but he just looked away, like she wasn't even there.

"Sara, Sara," Jack moaned, his head rolling from side to side, his eyes closed once more.

This sort of thing went on for hours, and by morning Sam was exhausted and upset, so much so that DJ had sensed it. She was beginning to feel like she didn't belong here. But never the less she tried to get through to Jack, to let him know that she was there, that she still cared. Putting her mouth down by his ear she spoke to him quietly, yet fervently.

"Jack, it's me, Sam! I'm here with you in Alaska. You're in the hospital," she told him, praying his mind would suddenly focus on the present.

Jack frowned in his sleep. He could hear a baby crying from time to time. He knew it must be Charlie, and he couldn't understand why his son was crying so much. Charlie hardly ever cried.

"Sara? Sara, what's wrong with Charlie? Sara, why is he crying?" He didn't like hearing the boy cry. Why didn't she do something?!

Sam couldn't take it anymore, so she quickly left Jack's room, feeling afraid for him, but also feeling hurt. Seeing Jack so confused was very upsetting, but him calling her by his ex-wife's name was even worse! He clearly wanted Sara, not her! As she hurried out the room, blinded by her tears, she almost ran into the doctor.

"Is something wrong, Miss Carter?"

"No. Yes! I shouldn't have come here," she said quickly. Then she ran out the nearest exit.

After taking a quick walk around the building, during which time she got herself under control, she returned to find Daniel watching for her expectantly.

"Sam, I just spoke to the doctor. He said there's no more fluid in Jack's lungs. He's going to be alright!" But instead of responding, Sam turned to the baby. "Sam, did you hear what I said?" he asked, watching as she checked DJ's diaper.

"I heard you, but I think you should notify Sara, Jack's ex-wife. She's the one he wants to see, not me." Then she began putting DJ's outdoor clothing on him.

"I'm sure that's not true, Sam. He's just confused." Daniel could see how distraught she was, but he thought she was just overreacting.

"No, it's no good, Daniel. We weren't meant to be together. I'm certain of that now. Please don't tell him I was here, and don't tell him about DJ!"

"What!" He knew what she was saying; he just couldn't believe she meant it.

"Promise me, Daniel!"

"Sam, are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay, then I promise I won't tell him, but I wish you'd give him more time."

"No, I can't stand this anymore. I need to go now. Good-bye, Daniel and thanks for everything."

Sam got the next flight home, while Daniel stayed in Juneau for a few more days. Before he flew home, he told Jack that everyone at the SGC would be glad to hear that he was doing so much better.

"I'll be fine, Daniel. I just had a little set back is all," Jack responded from his hospital bed.

"Set back? You nearly died!"

"But I didn't."

"Okay, you didn't. But you could have. Do you really think living in such a remote place is a good idea?"

"I like it out there. It's quiet and peaceful, and usually I don't get any unwanted visitors," Jack said, hoping he had made his point.

"And when you get sick, no one is around to know or care. Jack, is that what you really want?!"

"I like it here." He wasn't about to admit his true feelings to anyone!

"Jack, you deserve more than that! Why won't you come back to Colorado?"

"Why? There's nothing there for me anymore."

"That's not true! Your friends are there, and Hammond has a job for you. He told me he wants you to teach the new people what to expect when they go off world."

"I don't have what it takes now, Daniel," Jack said, as he looked down at where his lower left leg used to be.

"Don't count yourself out, Jack. You still have a lot of knowledge to offer others, knowledge that comes from experience. That's something they can't get from a text book."

"Please Jack. Just come for a visit. Everyone misses you. Cassie was in her school Christmas play. You should have seen her! She was the star of the show."

"Christmas?"

"Yes, Jack, Christmas was four days ago. "

"Crap! I should have sent the kid a present or something."

"You could still give her one. Why don't you come for a visit as soon as you're feeling stronger? I know everyone would love to see you."

Jack bit his bottom lip indecisively. He was also thinking about Sam. If he saw her, maybe there would still be that same old spark between them? Maybe he could win her back? _No, Jack, stop getting your hopes up. Why would she want a cripple, when she can have any man she wants? _he reasoned.

"Jack, will you come?"

"I'll think about it, Daniel," he promised. He hated to disappoint Daniel, especially since he'd come all this way. But he just wasn't sure he wanted to put himself through the pain and torture of seeing Sam again.

But he kept his promise. In fact, for the next two weeks Jack thought about little else but going back to Colorado and the possibility of seeing the woman he loved. And finally he made a decision. He would go there and see what Hammond had to offer him in the way of a real job. And if he ran into Sam … well, he'd just have to cross that bridge when he came to it.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven

When Jack made the decision to moved back to Colorado, he didn't tell anyone. One day he simply flew to Colorado Springs and moved back into his old house. Then he got into his truck, which had been stored in the garage, and drove to the base, arriving there unannounced.

He had picked a Saturday for his visit to the SGC, figuring the place would be less busy. So the welcome he got was totally unexpected. In fact, General Hammond was there, and he was so glad to see Jack that he organized an impromptu party of the people who were stuck on base for the weekend.

"Jack, it's really good to see you looking so well," Hammond told him honestly. He had always had a soft spot in his heart for the man, even when being Jack's CO had been particularly challenging. George was willing to overlook Jack's abrasive opinionated attitude, and his penchant for doing things his way, because he figured the important thing was that Jack's heart was in the right place, and also because Jack was damned lucky and usually came out on top. Yes, Jack O'Neill was basically a hero, even when he was being a horse's ass.

"It's really great having you back at the SGC, Jack," Sergeant Ferretti told him as he patted Jack's shoulder.

"I'm just visiting, Ferretti," Jack reminded his old friend, although it was good to know he'd been missed. "What the hell are you doing here on a Saturday, Lou?"

"The wife wouldn't let me come home, so I'll be bunking here for a while."

"You old dog, you! What are you in trouble for this time?"

"You know, pretty much the same shit as usual." The two men laughed, happy to be in each other's company once again.

Several of the off-world teams were there in the briefing room, as well as Daniel and Teal'c. But the one person Jack wanted most to see was missing. However, there was no way he was going to ask why Sam wasn't there. But he did intend to ask Hammond about the job that Daniel had mentioned to him. He figured maybe he could stay in Colorado Springs for a while if Hammond really thought he could help. Alaska had been a trip, as they say. But when the weather had turned bitter cold, his knees and back had begun to hurt, and he had realized that his old, broken down body was not suited to extreme cold anymore. At least in Colorado the sun shone most of the time.

Jack took a long swig of pop from the can he was holding. He'd much rather be drinking beer, but right now he was thankful for anything that would wet his whistle. Being the center of attention was making him a bit nervous. So he walked back over to Hammond, figuring the time had come for him to ask about that job.

"Sir, Daniel tells me I might be able to help you out. He said something about me teaching a class." Jack was trying to sound as casual as possible. He didn't want folks to think he didn't have other options open to him, and he truly didn't need the money. With his Air Force pension and disability benefits, he was set for life.

"Eh….It's not actually a class, Jack. How would you like to be a guest lecturer, say once or twice a month? I think our recruits would benefit greatly from hearing about your experiences on other planets," Hammond suggested. He had been disappointed that the Joint Chiefs had nixed his idea about Jack teaching a class on gate travel, but he figured this might help establish Jack as someone they could rely upon, if and when his idea of an ongoing class was ever implemented.

"That sounds like something I could handle, Sir. Just let me know when you need me, and I'll be here." Jack moved over to the credenza to get himself some water, since it seemed like the pop was making him even more thirsty. It wasn't that he felt like people were staring at him. In fact, he felt fairly confident walking around with his prosthetic limb. And although the thing did pinch a bit at times, for the most part it was comfortable. What was really bothering him was that he was still wondering why Sam wasn't there. Surely Daniel had phoned her when he found out he was back! And she always worked on Saturdays. At least she always had.

Maybe her life had changed for the better since he left? Did she do the things other women did on the weekends now, instead of slaving away over a microscope? He hoped that she was having fun, wherever she was. But a big part of him wished she was there.

Sam arrived on base carrying DJ and her briefcase. Saturday was her day off, but she wanted to hand deliver some papers to General Hammond. She had been asked to choose a new lab tech from a list of six candidates. And though she could have faxed Hammond her evaluations, she felt she needed to explain a couple of her remarks to him in person. But when she arrived at the outer office, she could members of SG teams and a few gate technicians and other people standing in the briefing room. She immediately realized that Hammond was having some sort of get-together for the off-world teams. And though it was normal that she wouldn't have been included, she still felt left out.

Figuring the reports would have to wait until Monday, Sam was about to leave when she caught a glimpse of a familiar figure. It was Jack, and he was walking across the room as though nothing had ever happened to him! Her heart jumped up in her throat at seeing him! He looked tall and strong, and not at all like the man she'd last seen in that hospital bed in Alaska. A big part of her wanted to run over and throw her arms around him. But she didn't, because she was afraid of how he might react. So she turned around, intending to leave before anyone saw her.

But just then she heard General Hammond call out to her. "Captain Carter!" He hurried over to her, and Sam was trapped.

"Sir, it's alright. I don't want to take you away from your…er…meeting," she said, her eyes drifting back into the large room. Her eyes caught Daniel's, and he smiled and waved at her.

"No, it's not a meeting. Far from it! We were just having a little impromptu get-together in Jack's honor. He's moving back to Colorado, and he's agreed to be a guest lecturer here at the SGC. I figure the recruits could use a little of his expert advice."

"No doubt, Sir." Sam didn't say so, but she thought this was great news. It meant she would be able to see him from time to time, that she wouldn't just have to wonder how he was or what he was doing.

"Come on in. I'm sure he'd like to see you….and the baby too," Hammond added as he affectionately patted DJ's little head. Then he took her elbow and led her into the room.

He had a soft spot for Sam's son, and not just because he loved children or because the baby was so damned cute. Sam was the daughter of one of his oldest and dearest friends. Jacob Carter was usually off someplace with the Tok'ra, an alien race that had saved his life, and George had promised to keep an eye on his one and only child and his grandson. George could still recall how irate Jacob had been when he had found out Sam was pregnant. But he had been able to calm the man down some, particularly when he explained that it was in no way going to hurt her stellar career.

Jack was chatting with Colonel Reynolds on the opposite side of the big room, when he saw Sam walk in with General Hammond. He was startled by the sight of her, but the thing that shocked him the most was that she was carrying a baby! To him a baby could mean only one thing; she had another man in her life now, and they had a kid. It meant he was too late. It meant that his suspicions had been correct all along; she had never loved him….at least not enough to make that kind of commitment. And all he could think about doing was getting out of there as fast as possible. So that's exactly what he did.

Over Walter's shoulder Sam saw Jack going down the stairs. And though she wanted to go after him, she was waylaid by several people who wanted to see DJ. So when she finally was able to get free, she went over and attacked Daniel, turning on him accusingly. "Why didn't you tell me Jack was going to be here?"

"I didn't know! I mean I asked him to come and talk to General Hammond about a job, but I wasn't sure he'd do it. I didn't want to get your hopes up, Sam," he explained. He had seen Jack make a break for it, and he knew a big part of her anger was due to Jack's hasty departure. He couldn't blame her; Jack wasn't making things any easier.

"I'm surprised he accepted Hammond's job offer," she admitted.

"He did?"

"Yes, General Hammond just told me Jack's going to give lectures."

"I think you're the main reason he came back, Sam. He misses you."

"Misses me, my ass!" she shot back, albeit quietly. "He took one look at me and practically ran out of the room just now!"

"Maybe he was upset about the baby? He probably wonders what's going on with you. You really need to tell him, Sam."

She knew he wanted her to tell Jack that DJ was his son, but she just didn't feel right about it. She didn't want Jack to feel obligated to her in any way, and besides she was perfectly capable of raising DJ on her own. But just to be fair to Daniel, who she knew was honestly concerned for all three of them, she made him a promise.

"I'll think about telling him, Daniel….if he ever gives me a chance," she complained, placing the fault entirely on Jack. Was she being unfair? Of course she was! Was she feeling hurt and neglected? You betcha!

Sam stayed until the group broke up, so she could talk to General Hammond about the personnel evaluations.

Meanwhile Daniel decided to go find Jack. It didn't take him long to locate his wayward friend, who was seated in the late afternoon shadows, outside on the back deck of his house. He had his feet up on the railing, and he was drinking something from a glass. Daniel could see an empty liquor bottle sitting on the deck next to the man's chair, and he knew that Jack was trying to drown his sorrows in alcohol. It was something he'd seen Jack do before.

Without even acknowledging Daniel's presence, Jack began talking.

"I never should have come back here, Daniel. I thought I could take it if she rejected me again, but I can't."

"Rejected you? Jack, you're not making any sense. Sam hasn't rejected you. She loves you! She always has and probably always will." He watched then as Jack rose to his feet, swaying unsteadily.

"It doesn't look that way to me." He needed more booze. It was the only thing that could make him forget, short of ending it all, of course.

"Well, it's true, she does." He really wanted to tell Jack what he knew, but he had promised Sam.

"Give me a break! Do you think I'm an idiot, Daniel? Look at me! I'm nothing but a washed up, old cripple with no future. How could she possibly want anyone like me? I have nothing to offer a woman like her….or any woman for that matter," he said, slurring his words as he stumbled toward the back door. Daniel was there to catch him.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Daniel slung Jack's arm over his shoulders, guiding the taller man into the house. Once Jack was seated on his bed, Daniel stepped aside so that Jack could get undressed by himself. He was able to remove his shoes and socks, but the prosthesis was another matter. He tried, but his trembling fingers couldn't get the straps unfastened.

"Christ, I can't do anything anymore!" Jack cursed. He flopped back on the bed, hot tears rolling down his face. He hated for anyone to see him like this, but right now his misery outweighed his embarrassment.

Daniel stooped down and removed Jack's artificial limb. The fact that Jack didn't refuse his help told Daniel just how hopeless he was feeling. And once Jack was situated properly in the bed, he even allowed Daniel to cover him up.

Daniel had kindly and patiently helped Jack get into bed, but he wasn't feeling very sympathetic toward his old friend. The anger boiling inside him wouldn't allow him to just leave and let Jack stew in his own juices. It required that he speak his mind, even if it ruined their friendship.

"Jack, you're letting everyone down, including yourself. Where's the man I knew? The man who risked his life every day for people he didn't even know, the hero who saved thousands of lives just on Abydos alone?"

"Hero's fall, Daniel," Jack replied, his voice sounding hoarse. He had stopped crying, and now he was embarrassed that he had allowed his friend to see the real him. Jack tried to sit up, but the room kept tilting. He pushed at the hand that was trying to hold him down. "Get your paws off me, Daniel!" He didn't want to lay down. What he wanted to do was get another bottle and drink till he passed out!

"Jack, lay down. You need to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning," he said as he pushed Jack's shoulders to the bed. He wasn't going to leave Jack alone in his present state of mind.

"No I won't! What I need to do is get out of here. I never should have come back here, Daniel," Jack stated despondently, choking on his tears. Suddenly what he wanted to do was get in his truck and drive. He didn't know where he'd go. He just wanted to leave this place and never come back.

"No, Jack, you are not going to run away again! I won't let you do that to yourself. And you certainly shouldn't do it to Sam and D…." He had almost slipped! And though he wanted to tell Jack everything, he didn't because he had promised Sam.

"Ah, hell, Daniel, what's the use? No one cares if I live or die."

"A lot of people care. Me for one, and General Hammond and Teal'c, and Janet and Cassie. And Sam cares too, whether you believe it or not."

"Yah, right," Jack commented sarcastically. "What am I gonna do, Daniel?" Jack asked, his question followed by a loud "**Hic**!"

"Well, for starters you're going to stop drinking. And then you're going to get on with your life and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's time you pulled yourself together, Jack, instead of wallowing in self-pity."

"Self-pity is all I'm good at."

"Shut up and go to sleep, Jack. Things will look better in the morning. Oh, I'll be in the guest room if you need anything. Good-night, Jack."

"Good-night, Daniel. And Daniel…"

"What?"

"You're a good friend," Jack said drowsily.

"I know."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

Daniel was happy to see that his tirade seemed to be having the desired effect on his friend. Jack had agreed to lecture at the SGC from time to time, and now when Daniel called he actually answered his cell phone instead of letting it go to voice mail.

So one day a couple of weeks after Jack got back in town, Daniel stopped by the house to see how he was doing. He found him in the garage, obviously in the process of cleaning it out. Unlabeled boxes were stacked out in the driveway amidst dusty skis and hockey equipment, bicycles, tools, a very rusty wheel barrow, and a million other things.

"What are you doing? Can I help?"

"Sure! Start carrying that stuff to the curb."

"Why?"

"The Salvation Army is picking it up tomorrow."

"Don't you want this stuff anymore?" Daniel asked, as he examined a pair of what appeared to be perfectly good ice skates.

"No, that's why I'm donating it," Jack replied in a tone of voice that suggested Daniel's question was stupid.

So even though he thought Jack was jumping the gun on some of the stuff, Daniel did as he was told. He figured that at least Jack was doing something and not just sitting on his butt all day long.

The following week when Daniel stopped by again, he came to ask Jack to have lunch with him. He thought maybe Jack needed to get out a bit. But when he arrived, he got a huge surprise. In the middle of the left side of the two-car garage sat something Daniel had only seen one other time in his life.

"Wow! What are you gonna do with this?" he asked as he walked around the potter's wheel.

"What do you think I'm gonna do with it? You do know what it is, don't you?"

"Of course I know what it is, but… I had no idea you were interested in making pots." Then Daniel strolled over to the work bench on the other side of the room where Jack was standing. There he found a figure made of wire, what sculptors call an armature. Daniel was amazed! "Did you make this?"

"Yep!" Jack replied proudly. It was a good feeling to know he had other talents besides shooting people and blowing things up.

"Jack, how do you know about this sort of thing?"

"From my Mom. She used to make pots and stuff when I was a boy. I liked to watch her. She even let me use her wheel once. I remember thinking it was fun, even though my pot didn't turn out too good. Anyway, I thought I'd give it a try. I still need to buy a kiln, but for now I can take whatever I make to the craft store over on Broadway to have it fired."

"Wow! This is really cool!" Daniel was truly impressed. Just then he remembered why he was there. "Say, would you like to go get some lunch?"

"How about if I fix you lunch instead? Ham sandwich, potato salad and a beer sound okay to you?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice. Thanks!" It wasn't what he'd planned to do for lunch, but in a way it seemed better, because maybe it meant Jack was feeling more positive about life.

Jack worked at his new hobby for a few weeks, and it wasn't long before Daniel was telling him his things were good enough to sell. And since the idea that others might enjoy his work appealed to him, Jack stopped at a shop in town one day to see if they'd be interested in buying some of his pieces. He took along four pots that he thought were his best.

After looking them over, the owner said that while Jack's work was very unique and quite good for an amateur, he only sold the work of established artists. He advised Jack to try the gift shops in the many ski resort towns throughout the state, places where there were plenty of rich tourists interested in taking home a piece of locally-made art.

Taking his advice, Jack put a couple of boxes of pottery in his Jeep, along with a duffle bag with a change of clothes in it, and headed to the closest resort towns. But the shops there rejected his work too, saying they had no need for more pottery. So Jack decided to drive a greater distance from central Colorado. It wouldn't be very convenient for him, if he should find someone who wanted to buy his pots on a regular basis, but he could always move if need be. He wasn't sure he wanted to stay in Colorado Springs anyway, especially since seeing Sam on base had been such a disappointing shock.

So he drove on, until he reached the very popular tourist town of Durango. Jack could see immediately that the competition would be stiff here. There were many shops and many locally made crafts, including pottery. But in one shop he met a woman who told him about a new gift shop just up the highway in Purgatory. She said she knew the owner, and that he was a nice Swedish man from Minnesota. She also said he might still be buying things for his shop, which had opened very recently. So Jack got back in his Jeep and headed north, thinking how nice the drive was. He was actually enjoying the scenery, which reminded him a lot of Alaska. The best thing about both places were the tall mountains and the trees!

Before long he reached Purgatory, which wasn't really a town so much as it was a ski resort. Jack had been there before, but it had been many years ago with his ex-wife. So he was surprised to find that the place hadn't changed very much. It was basically just a bunch of condos for rent and the ski lodge with its rustic cabins. There were only a few shops in town, and most of them were in a shopping mall adjacent to the ski lift. But the parking lot was full, so Jack didn't even think about stopping.

However, the gift shop Jack had been told about was located on the north end of town, in a more secluded setting. But thanks to a big new sign beside the highway, he found it with no problem. An arrow pointed up the hill to "Anderson House Bed & Breakfast", while right next to the highway was the gift shop. Both the house and the shop were painted a pale yellow and built in the same Victorian style, with wide front porches, pointed roofs and lots of crisp white gingerbread trim, and Jack thought they looked very cozy and welcoming.

It was almost sundown and Jack was tired when he pulled into the parking area in front of the gift shop. He got out, careful to avoid the muddy puddles which were left over from the snow storm that had passed through the previous week. Then he took the two boxes of pottery out of the back end of the Jeep and very carefully carried them toward the porch. Jack was relieved when he arrived safely at the entrance, where a white wooden sign hung over the yellow clapboard siding. The sign proclaimed, in black, loosely flowing script with green and yellow daisies all around it, that he was about to enter "Anderson House Gifts".

More than any shop he'd been to thus far, this place appealed to him because of its old-fashioned homey style, and also because of what it contained. Unlike the other shops, it wasn't pretentious, or filled with over-priced items, or with things made in some foreign country. Inside the small, well-lit rooms that divided the first floor, he was pleased to see there was a variety of hand-crafted gifts and souvenirs. The offering included candies, soaps, kites, paintings of local scenery, quilts, Christmas ornaments, carved puzzles made from local pine and cedar, bean bag animals, crocheted hats and scarves, three kinds of local honey, and much, much more. There was even a second story, with one big room where there were more nice things for sale, such as hand-carved pine furniture and lamps with rawhide shades.

There seemed to be a little of everything, but Jack noticed that one type of thing was lacking, and that was pottery! So Jack felt encouraged. And even though this place was a long drive from Colorado Springs, he hoped this shop keeper would be willing to give his creations a try.

After explaining that he wished to sell and not consign his work, Jack carefully set the boxes down on the counter next to the register. Then he went browsing, while the owner took a look at the things Jack had brought with him.

There were three customers in the shop as well, a young couple and an older woman by herself. Jack hadn't been in the store very long before he heard the older female customer asking about one of his pots, which the store's owner had taken out of the box in order to examine it more closely.

"I just love this one. If you won't buy it from him, I certainly will!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.

The shop keeper quickly told the woman that he intended to buy all of the pots from the artist, and if she could wait just a minute, he would price the piece for her. Then he came over and discretely asked Jack how much he would take for the pot.

"Whatever you think is fair," Jack replied. He had no idea what to ask. He still wasn't sure his stuff was worth anything.

"Mister, if you do business like that, you won't make a dime! I'll give you fifty dollars for it and three hundred and fifty for the rest."

"Sold!" Jack cried excitedly, but not too loudly. Then the man went back to the counter and conducted the sale. The woman quickly paid $150 for the pot with a credit card, and was out the door two minutes later. Then the shop keeper wrote Jack a check and began putting price tags on the pots.

Jack was tired and hungry, so once he had been paid, he decided it was time to call it a day. He was about to leave when he decided to ask the shop keeper if he knew of a place that might still have a vacancy. But before he had a chance to say a word, the young woman spoke up. She had one of his pots in her hands.

"Oh look, Brad! Isn't it clever?! How much is this one? I want it." The pot was actually a mug with a silly face, like the ones he'd seen his mother making when he was a child.

"That one is one hundred and sixty."

"Great! I'll take it!" The man pulled out his wallet, while the shop keeper took the pot from the woman and began wrapping it. The young woman turned to Jack and smiled at him.

"I think your pottery is wonderful, Mister…?"

"Thank you! My name is Jack O'Neill, but I use the initials J-O-N," he said, turning over one of the other pots, so she could see the mark on the bottom. Then Jack stood aside while the transaction was completed.

Once the young couple had left, he asked the shop keeper about a room. "Say, Mister Anderson, do you have any idea where I can get a room for the night?" When he saw all the cars parked at the ski lodge, Jack had realized that not making a reservation had been a mistake. But of course he hadn't known where he'd end up.

"Call me Olaf or Olie. Golly, I don't imagine anyone has a room for tonight. But I have one room left at my place just up the hill, if you don't mind staying in the honeymoon suite. The bed is big and soft, there's a hot tub out on the back deck, and my wife is the best cook in all of Colorado," the older man said with pride.

"And how much will this palace set me back?" Jack asked, smirking. He figured he was about to get taken. But any price was better than driving all night.

"For my new friend, fifty bucks, if you'll bring me more pots when I run out?"

"It's a deal!" Jack cried happily, and the two men grinned at each other and shook hands. But now Jack knew he would need to tell Hammond that he couldn't accept the job offer. He would need to move closer to Purgatory. He couldn't be driving back and forth all the time. Besides he didn't really want to live so close to Sam now that she had another man in her life. Running into her was just too upsetting, as he had recently discovered.

"Now I've got another question for you. I'm gonna be needing a place to live. Do you know anyone who has a small house to rent? ….something with a garage or someplace I can set up my wheel and a kiln?"

"Yah, sure, you betcha! I've still got my old house in Durango, the one we lived in before we moved here to the new house. It's nothing fancy, but I could let you have it for eight hundred dollars a month, including utilities. And there's a garage out back where you can make your pots."

"You've got yourself another deal, Olie."

And so Jack O'Neill struck two deals that day with Olaf Anderson. And now he had to go back to Colorado Springs and sever all ties to the SGC for once and for all.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine

It was a warmish Sunday in March and as usual Sam was spending time with her son. Early that morning she had taken him out for a run in the stroller. She loved jogging along behind the lightweight stroller, breathing in the fresh Colorado air as she ran along the paved trail at the nearby park. And DJ enjoyed it too. He especially loved the dog park, where they would stop for a bit so he could watch the dogs romping around in the grass. Of course this time of the year the grass was mostly the color of straw, but the dogs had a blast anyway, and DJ did too, babbling excitedly at them as they played.

Then afterward Sam stopped at her neighborhood coffee shop for a nice hot cup of latte and a blueberry scone. Even though she wasn't on an off-world team anymore, she was still military and therefore required to remain fit, so the scone was about the most decadent treat she allowed herself each week, although she did eat an occasional bowl of Berry Blue Jell-O in the commissary.

Sundays were also her day to clean house, so that's what she did next. First she vacuumed the carpet in the bedroom and the area rug in the living room. Then she dusted every single surface, rubbing until the wood shone, as she danced to a seventies disco song on the radio. All the while Daniel Jacob laid in his play pen, cooing and gurgling at the 'out of this world' mobile that hung above his head. Daniel had insisted that Sam's baby had to have a space-related mobile, and since he couldn't find one in the shops, he had made one. It had shiny stars and moons and planets, and DJ absolutely loved it! And Sam loved it too, mainly because Daniel had made it, but also because it kept her son busy at times like this, when she needed to get a few things done.

Once the house was up to Sam's standards, she nursed DJ and then put him down for his morning nap. As she stripped off her sweaty work out clothes and running shoes, she thought about how lucky she was to have a job where she could take him to work with her. There was a daycare center on level 10, so she was able to go up there, grab a bottle of water or juice in the commissary, and then go back to the center and feed DJ. It was so convenient that she could feed him as often as necessary, which was usually just twice a day; mid-morning and then again in the afternoon.

He was a good baby and didn't fuss much, so this schedule worked out well for both of them, and he adored the volunteer staff in the daycare center. They were Air Force volunteers who also needed a safe place for their children to stay. In fact, everyone who used the center had to spend at least one day a month working there. Sam thought it was a very fair system. Plus DJ got a chance to interact with other young children, which was something he might not have otherwise.

So in some ways Sam's life was perfect. She had a good job where she was respected and valued, she had good friends who supported her through the good times and the bad, and she had a wonderfully bright and very cute son who made her smile even when she was tired or down. She even had a boyfriend. At least that's what Janet called him. To Sam, Mike was just someone she liked to spend time with, and who was willing to give her some space when she needed it. As for getting serious, she didn't feel ready to accept the fact that Jack would never be a part of her and DJ's lives, and she wasn't sure if she ever would be. But for now, at least she didn't have to sit at home every Friday night with a book or the TV. She finally had a life, even if it wasn't the life she'd dreamed of.

After a long, hot shower, Sam crept over to look at the baby, who was laying on his back sound asleep. For a few minutes she just stood there gazing down at him. Sometimes she was amazed that she and Jack could have made something so wonderful! He had inherited his blonde hair from her, but his charming personality and his captivating brown eyes were all Jack. Feeling a lump forming in her throat and knowing she was close to tears, Sam left the bedroom and went to sit in the living room, where she curled up on the sofa with a scientific journal she'd been wanting to read. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get her mind off Jack.

She wondered if he had been to the SGC lately. If he had been, he hadn't stopped by her lab even once to see her. She suspected that he was still punishing her for ending their affair. But was there more to it than that? Did he still care for his ex-wife? Was that why he'd called out to her when he was delirious? She knew he was a very proud man who wouldn't want pity from anyone. Was that why he wouldn't see her? Did he think she would treat him differently, think of him differently just because he'd lost his leg? Surely he didn't think she was that shallow?!

Unable to concentrate on her magazine, Sam daydreamed about Jack for the next hour. She had finally convinced herself to phone him, when her cell phone rang. Startled, her first thought was that it was Jack calling her. But when she looked at the caller ID, she saw it was not Jack's phone number. But it was one she recognized.

"Hi, Mike!"

"Hey, baby!"

"Did you have a good game?" Every Sunday he spent a large part of the day playing some sort of sport, like golf, racket ball, basketball or tennis. Today it had been racket ball.

"Awesome! You remember Joe Briggs, don't you?"

"Yes, of course." Sam remembered Joe alright! He had spent several hours one afternoon trying to get her to leave a party with him and go to his place. The kicker was, the party was at Mike's apartment! But that hadn't stopped Joe from coming on to her. Sam thought he was a jerk and not someone Mike should consider a friend. But she was reluctant to tell Mike how she felt, because she'd have to explain. And if she told Mike the truth, he would probably beat the crap out of Joe, or vice versa. And though Sam was all for her guy being jealous and defending her honor and all, she wanted to avoid violence. So, as long as Joe left her alone, she didn't intend to tell Mike what an asshole he was.

"Well, I wiped up the court with him," he bragged.

"Aren't you smug," Sam observed. Mike wasn't like any guy she had ever dated before. He was what the kids in high school had called a jock. He was also a marine.

"I have a right to be smug. I was great, honey. You should've seen me!"

"Oh, I believe you," she chuckled deep in her throat.

The man was very high on himself, but she had to admit he had a right to be. He was not only a good marine, he was also a good person. He mentored fatherless boys in his spare time, and he also taught a self-defense class to women. That was how Sam had met him. Originally Janet had organized the class for the Academy hospital staff, following a rape incident in the hospital parking lot. Then the class became so popular that the hospital board decided it should also be offered free to all female dependents of the men assigned to Peterson AFB and the SGC.

Mike had volunteered to teach the class one weekend every month, but he wanted a woman to assist him, someone familiar with self-defense to demonstrate from a woman's perspective. Janet had asked Sam to help, and that had been the beginning of their relationship. Now they dated, and he occasionally slept over. The sex was good, he knew enough about what she did not to ask too many questions, and he didn't seem to mind it when she wanted time to herself. And he had been good with DJ the few times they'd been together. So, all in all their relationship was really good. It just wasn't great.

"So what'd you do today?"

"Oh, I went for my usual run through the park this morning."

"Good for you! Gotta burn those carbs."

"Then I cleaned house. I just finished." That wasn't exactly true, but she wasn't about to tell him that she'd sat there for the past hour daydreaming about her ex-CO!

"I think we both could use a break. How about we take a little trip next weekend? Not far, just someplace away from the city."

"That sounds like fun! No skiing though. I think it's too late."

"Yeah, there may not enough snow for skiing," he agreed. "But I'm sure we can find something else to do," he said with a lilt to his voice.

"I'm sure we can," she agreed playfully. "Can we stay at a bed and breakfast this time? You know, one of those places with Victorian charm, good food, and a hot tub right outside the room."

"A hot tub?! Baby, I love the way you think!"

The following Saturday morning Sam and Mike dropped DJ off at Janet's house at six. The baby squealed and clapped his little hands together when he saw Cassie, who hurried over and took DJ out of Sam's arms.

"Where are you going exactly?"

"To Purgatory, no pun intended," Sam replied.

"I got us a room with a hot tub," Mike informed her with a self-satisfied smile.

"My, that sounds romantic," Janet replied. She was envious, but she was also happy for Sam, who she thought had been alone way too long.

Cassie carried DJ into the living room, while the three adults chatted in the foyer. Sam watched them go, noting that her son didn't even notice that she was no longer with him.

"I think he's going to have more fun than we are," Sam said without thinking what her remark implied. She suddenly felt uneasy about leaving him. He had never stayed overnight anywhere without her before. In fact, they had never been separated for more than a few hours, and now she was leaving him for two whole days! And he didn't even seem to care that she was leaving! She knew it was silly, but she felt like crying.

"I certainly hope not, honey, or I must be doing something wrong," Mike said with a laugh, but Janet thought he looked serious. So she laughed along with him, while Sam just looked sad.

Soon Sam had filled Janet in on DJ's schedule, and she and Mike were headed out of town in his Mercedes convertible, with the top down. Sam was glad she had brought along a head scarf. Boys and their toys!

To Sam and Mike's delight, they were still allowing the more advanced skiers to use the upper slopes. So, following a busy morning of skiing, they had lunch at the ski lodge. Afterward, on the way back to their B&B Sam asked if they could stop at the little gift shop to get Janet a thank you gift for taking care of DJ. She knew she didn't need to buy Janet anything…the woman was positively in love with the baby…but she wanted to. Besides she hardly ever went shopping except for groceries and baby things, so browsing in the shop would be a real treat!

Inside the little shop Sam found an assortment of bath soaps and body scrubbers that were perfect for her petite friend who loved to take baths. She also found a cute barrette for Cassie, and a rubber duck for DJ. While she was putting the items on the counter next to the cash register, Mike called her over to show her something he had found.

"Hey, Sam, take a look at this!" He was standing in front of a shelf filled with pots. But the thing that had caught Mike's eye was something that seemed out of place. It was a fourteen-inch-high statue of a nude woman with a black matte glaze.

At first Sam thought he was just being a guy, but then he said something that made her take a better look at it. "It looks just like you, Sam."

Sam studied the statue for a minute, thinking she did see some similarities between herself and it. The woman was tall and thin like her, and she had full breasts, slender hips and long legs like her too. Next she considered the pose, wondering if it represented something the artist was trying to say? The woman had her hands up over her head. Actually one hand was in her hair, as though she was running her fingers through it, having just stepped out of the shower. Sam thought it was very provocative pose, as though the woman knew that a man was watching her….probably the artist.

"I don't know that it looks just like me, but I do see some similarities," she admitted.

Sam felt a connection to the statue, as though she was meant to find it. So, even though it wasn't the type of thing she usually bought, she decided she had to have it.

"I'll take this statue too," she told the shop keeper.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

As he drove along the curved highway from Durango to Purgatory at break-neck speed, Jack recalled what had inspired him to make the statue. One day he had watched Sam coming out of the bathroom after her shower, and he had been blown away by her beauty. They had been together for about a month by then, and he had still been amazed that someone like Sam would want someone like him.

She had stood there naked with her hands up to her head, her breasts lifting and her nipples erect, and Jack had thought she looked like one of those Greek statues. At the time he had no idea that her pose would inspire him to sculpt a likeness of her, but it had. And now he had made a terrible mistake! He never wanted to part with the statue, but he had forgotten that it was in the box of pots, and now it was in the shop where someone could buy it! He had to get it back!

Jack pulled off the highway and parked in the only space left, which was at the far end from the door of the shop. He was about to get out when the sound of laughter attracted his attention. He looked toward the sound and saw two people coming out of the shop, but it was the woman's voice that caused him to freeze where he sat. He knew that voice, because it was the voice of the woman he loved.

From his seat, Jack watched as Sam and her male companion, a big guy who had a marine buzz cut, walked to their car. The man was carrying a box, and Sam had one of the shop's gift bags hanging from her left hand. Jack pulled back, not wanting to be seen when her eyes swept the parking lot. She was talking animatedly to the man about something, although Jack wasn't sure what, because he could only pick out a word here and there.

After they got into the car and drove away, taking the drive up to the top of the hill to where the B&B was located, Jack criticized himself for being such a chicken shit. He should have gone over to them and introduced himself to Sam's friend, but instead he had hidden inside his truck like a scared rabbit. Why had he reacted so childishly? Why didn't he want Sam to see him?

You know why, Jack. It's because you don't measure up to her boyfriend, he told himself. He hated himself for being such a coward, but he couldn't help the way he felt; he just wasn't the same man anymore. And besides, her friend was a much younger man than him, and he was very fit. Sam had a real man in her life now, so there was no way she'd ever look at him again the way she once had. His time had come and gone.

Seeing Sam and her boyfriend had been very upsetting, but when he got inside the shop he got an even bigger shock; the statue was gone!

"I just sold it, Jack. In fact you probably saw the young couple that bought it. They just left here. They're staying in the honeymoon suite. Is there some problem? They paid a hefty price for it," Olaf said as he began riffling through a stack of credit card receipts.

"No, no, it's okay. I was just surprised is all." Jack pretended to rearrange his pots for a minute, and then he told Olaf good-bye and left.

At first Jack just sat in his truck, shocked and trying to make sense of things. Did Sam realize that he had made the statue? And if so, did she know it was supposed to be a likeness of her? Was that why she bought it, or was it just a coincidence? Or maybe her boyfriend had been the one who liked it because it reminded him of Sam? What part of her body did he like the best? Was it her long legs, which held him tight while he was fucking her, or was it her snug pussy that squeezed him so tight that he thought he was gonna die, or her perky tits with their prominent, pale pink nipples? Jack could still recall how she'd squeal when he sucked them.

"Stop it! Shut up, damn you!" Jack yelled at himself. Thinking about her was going to drive him mad, so he started the Jeep's engine and slowly guided it out of the parking lot. But he still couldn't keep himself from looking up the hill at the Bed and Breakfast, and wondering what Sam and the marine were doing right now?

Somehow Jack made it home in one piece, although he didn't remember the drive so much as he remembered what he'd been thinking about while he was driving. The experience at the gift shop had left him feeling frustrated that he couldn't get the statue back. While at the same time a part of him liked the idea that now the statue was with Sam. She had a part of him with her, even if she didn't know it. In a way he was with her day and night and always would be, as long as she owned the statue.

The rest of the weekend went very well for Sam and Mike. And after a night of love making in the hot tub and in the big four-poster bed, Mike surprised Sam. They were in the dining room having breakfast when he popped the question.

"I know this is kinda short notice, but I want us to get married," he said as he reached for her hand. She let him hold it for a minute, primarily because she was in shock! But as soon as she was able to think, she pulled her hand away.

"Wow! You sure know how to surprise a girl," she said with a half laugh.

"But it's a good surprise, right?" he asked hopefully.

"Eh…. I'd like some time to think about it, if you don't mind?"

"Sure. No problem," he agreed readily, but Sam thought he looked very disappointed. And though she felt badly for him, she couldn't help it. She didn't think she could marry someone she wasn't head-over-heels in love with.

That evening when they arrived back at Sam's house, Mike asked her if he could come in for a while, but Sam said she was tired and wanted to get to bed early. So after he left, she took a shower and put on her pajamas, figuring she would read or watch TV until she felt sleepy enough to go to bed.

DJ hadn't even woke up when they picked him up from Janet's house, so Sam had simply taken off his shoes, hat and coat and tucked him into bed. Now she tiptoed over to the crib to make sure he was still covered up. Lately he'd been kicking his covers off, but this time he was still as snug as a bug in a rug.

So she sneaked out of the bedroom, leaving the door open a crack so she would be able to hear him if he awakened. It was almost twenty-two hundred, and even though she needed to be at work by 7, she didn't feel like going to bed yet. Her mind was still whirling as she thought about Mike's proposal and why she couldn't accept it. While it was true that she didn't love Mike, the real problem was that she loved Jack! But what was she going to do about it?

It took Sam two whole weeks, but she finally decided it was time she did something, before it really was too late. So one evening she phoned Daniel, who answered on the second ring.

"Hi! I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner tomorrow night?"

"Sure! I'll bring the wine." Daniel loved spending time with Sam and the baby. And now there was an added bonus; Sam had become a very good cook. He guessed this was due to the fact that she worked regular hours now and only forty hours per week, so she had more time to practice. But he thought she sounded upset, and he had to wonder why? "Eh….Is everything alright?"

"Everything's just peachy!" she answered, although she didn't mean it. "How about seven-ish?"

"I'll be there! White or red?"

"White would be great!"

He arrived promptly at seven, noting that Sam's house smelled fantastic! Practice did indeed make perfect, because tonight she served him trout almandine, fresh asparagus and potatoes au gratin, and everything was perfectly prepared.

Once again Daniel thought what a stupid man Jack was. _Look at everything he's missing! What man in his right mind wouldn't want this?_ DJ had taken his first steps while holding onto his finger earlier that evening, Sam had prepared him a gourmet meal, and just now he had been holding the baby when he fell asleep.

It was a wonderful feeling knowing that the boy felt safe and comfortable in his arms, and he had to admit he wanted a life like this, but not with Sam. He knew that he and Sam could never be more than friends. Not only was she like a sister to him, but she was in love with Jack and probably always would be. But why couldn't Jack see that? And then she told him the thing that made him realize that Jack didn't have long to make things right.

"Mike asked me to marry him," she said suddenly over the coffee.

"Did you accept?"

"No, I haven't decide what to do yet." But she knew she couldn't wait much longer to give Mike an answer.

Daniel knew it wasn't up to him to try and make Jack realize what a huge mistake he was making. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop wondering if there was something he could do to make the silly old fool realize that Sam loved him. Daniel thought maybe he should go and have another talk with Jack….not just for Jack's sake, but for the sake of Sam and DJ. But the last time he had tried to reason with Jack, the man had almost thrown him out of his house.

_ "You're moving! To where?"_

_ "What difference does it make, Daniel?" Jack asked in a confrontational tone of voice._

_ "I just wondered. What about the job Hammond offered you?"_

_ "Not interested."_

_ "Jack, you didn't even give it a try!"_

_ "I've got things to do now, Daniel…..so get out!"_

_ "Jack, I think you should stop making snap decisions, before you make a terrible mistake."_

_ "And I think you should mind your own business, before I throw your ass outa here!"_

"Would you like another glass of wine?" Sam asked as she returned from putting Daniel Jacob in bed.

"Sure, why not? I should probably take a cab home anyway."

"Nonsense! You can sleep on the sofa," she said as she went to the kitchen to get them more wine.

He had only been in Sam's living room a few times, and it was pretty much the way he remembered it, except for one thing, a statue that he saw sitting on the fireplace mantel.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter eleven

Daniel saw the statue of the nude woman and stopped in front of it. Sam had a few very abstract paintings on the wall, and also some framed photos she had taken of the planets they had visited, but the statue wasn't like anything else Sam owned. He wondered what had made her buy it? Had it been a quirk of fate? Was she supposed to buy it?

When she arrived with his glass of wine, he was examining it more closely. "Do you like it?" she asked curiously.

"Eh….Yes, very much!" he said honestly, but he could barely stop his voice from shaking.

"I just bought it last weekend in Purgatory. It was in the little gift shop down the hill from our bed and breakfast. Mike thinks it looks like me," she laughed, looking a little embarrassed.

"I agree! Eh…I mean the face does," he said, blushing. "It's very good. Who made it?" he asked innocently, trying to carry on the conversation, even though he already knew who made it. He wished he could erase the uneasiness he was suddenly feeling. He was lying to her, and that made him feel terrible.

"I don't know who the artist is. Probably no one famous, or it would have cost a lot more than $300."

"Well, it certainly is nice." Daniel felt like kicking himself for lying to her, but he had made a promise! He had been shocked when Jack phoned him over a week ago, and he could still hear Jack's angry voice barking at him from the telephone.

_"I still can't believe I fucked up like that! I didn't intend to sell it. I wonder if she knows I made it?" _

_ "I think she would have told me about it, if she did." _

_ "Well, don't tell her! Who was that guy she was with anyway?" _

_ "He's a guy she's been dating for a few months. His name is Mike, and he's a marine. That's all I know." _

He had spoken to Sam several times since her weekend outing with Mike, and though she had seemed a bit distracted, she hadn't said a word about buying a statue. In fact she hadn't talked about the trip much at all. Knowing what he did now, he suspected she had been worrying about Mike's proposal.

Sam's voice brought Daniel back to the present.

"Listen, Daniel, I have to admit I had an ulterior motive for inviting you here tonight," Sam told him as she lightly touched his hand.

"I've already bought all the Girl Scout Cookies I need for one year," he joked nervously as he moved over to the sofa, where he sat down. He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was going to end up, and he really didn't know what he should tell her.

"Very funny, Daniel. Seriously, I need to know how Jack's doing. I'm worried about him," Sam admitted as she sat down near him on the sofa.

"I know you're worried about him, Sam. So am I."

"Then tell me what you know about him. Please!"

He wasn't surprised to hear that she wanted to talk about Jack, but he wasn't sure how much, if anything, he should tell her. Jack had recently sworn him to secrecy about the statue, but he hadn't said not to tell her anything else. So, figuring that his friends deserved a chance to have a happy life together, and also figuring that if it was left up to them they'd probably never get together, Daniel decided to tell Sam more of what he knew.

"Well, I know that he turned down Hammond's job offer, so we won't be seeing him at the SGC."

"No! Why would he do such a stupid thing?!" No wonder she hadn't run into him on base!

"I'm not sure, but I think working on base, but not being military, was more than he could take. I also know he moved to Durango a couple of weeks ago. And he put his house up for sale before he left."

"_What_! Why?" This just kept getting worse!

"Eh….I really think you should ask him yourself. Why don't you go see him?"

"And say what? 'I was just driving by, the weather's nice this time of year, and oh by the way, this is your son?' No, I don't think so," she said, shaking her head. "Besides, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to see me. The last time we were in the same room together, he bolted, remember?"

"I know, but maybe he was just nervous about his new prosthesis? He's had more time to adjust to it. Maybe if you met him on his own turf, so to speak, it would be easier for him. I think he just needs a little encouragement, Sam. He must feel like he's lost everything he cared about. That can't be easy for him. And you know what a proud man he is. He'll never freely admit how much he's hurting. You'd have to beat it out of him." Of course he was speaking metaphorically. He would never use violence against his friend, even though he was certain Jack felt no such reluctance.

"Believe me I know, Daniel, but…." Sam shook her head instead of continuing. She felt hopeless and confused. She really doubted Jack wanted anything to do with her. Why else would he be acting this way? And even though she wanted to see him, she was afraid…..and not just for herself! She was afraid for her son. Even if he wouldn't know he was being rejected….and by his own father of all people…_she _would know.

"I'll leave you his address in Durango, just in case you decide to go see him," Daniel said as he wrote on the note pad by the telephone on Sam's desk. He really thought she should go. But he could understand why she'd be reluctant. Jack wasn't an easy person to love. In fact sometimes he made it down right impossible.

Somehow she had to find the courage to tell Jack about DJ! Even if he still didn't want her, maybe he would take an interest in the boy. She owed it to their son to try! And Jack had a right to know that DJ was his son, didn't he?

Sam agonized over what to do after Daniel left, but by the time she had cleaned up the kitchen, she had decided she was going to tell Jack as soon as possible. She'd take a few days off and go see him. She'd give him a chance to meet his son, and then the rest would be up to him. But first she had to speak to her CO.

George Hammond had suspected for quite some time that Jack O'Neill was DJ Carter's father. He only had to look at the boy to know, but there had been more signals than that. There had been a sort of electric energy radiating off the couple even during that first meeting in the briefing room over three years earlier. And after that there were other occasions when he could feel the love passing between the two, like when Jack would refuse to leave Sam's side when she was injured and confined to bed in the infirmary, or when he was injured and she would sit by his side for hours on end. They might try to excuse their behavior as concern for a teammate, but he knew better.

And now he suspected that things were about to come to a head, because Sam Carter never asked for time off.

"Of course you can have a few days off. In fact, you can have a week!" he said, his eyes smiling.

"Thank you, but two or three days should be enough."

"Are you and DJ going on a trip?" George asked. Now he definitely thought something was going on. Two or three days should be enough? That certainly didn't sound like a vacation to him. It sounded like a mission!

"Yes, we are, but we won't be very far away. You can call me on my cell phone if you need me for anything," she said quickly. She knew it was silly, but she almost felt guilty about leaving.

"I think we can get along without you for a week, Captain," he chuckled. "You just go and relax. You deserve it for all the time you've given to the program," he assured her. She deserved something more as well, and he had suggested to his superiors that she be promoted to major because of the fine work she'd done on SG-1. But they apparently thought her removal from the team, and her exclusive assignment to the lab, was reason enough to hold her back. He'd keep putting her name in for the promotion, but for now some time off was all he could give her.

"But if Dad calls, you will let me know, right?"

"Of course I will, Sam. Now you go ahead and enjoy yourself."

"Thank you, Sir." Now she needed to finish up a couple of tests, and then she could get on her way.

After she left, George just shook his head. He really hoped this trip had something to do with Jack, and that they if they saw each other they would be able to work things out. He also hoped that, if Jack was DJ's father, he would step up to the plate!

Not long afterward Sam was deep in thought, her head down as she walked to the elevator. She hadn't seen or heard from her father in over six months, and she was very concerned about him. All she knew was that he was off someplace on assignment with the Tok'ra, his adopted race, and that he couldn't be reached. She could still recall the last time she spoke to him, which had been by radio through a wormhole. Telling him she was pregnant was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. He had been very angry at first. But after General Hammond talked to him for a bit, he had calmed down.

She wondered what General Hammond had said to her father, but right now she had another more important matter on her mind. She was going to tell Jack that DJ was his son, and she wondered how he would react when he found out.

Just then the elevator doors slid open and Daniel was standing there looking at her.

"Hey! I was just heading up to the commissary. Wanna join me?"

"No, thanks, Daniel. I'm leaving for the day….for a few days actually." When the car started to move, she started talking, nervous energy making her mouth move a mile a minute.

"I'm taking a week off. Well, I asked for a few days, but General Hammond insists I take a week. So I guess I will. Anyway, I've decided to go see Jack. I'm gonna tell him, Daniel. I can't go on like this! Besides, it isn't fair for me not to tell him."

"Sam, I think that's wonderful! I know you're worried about how things will turn out, but I'm sure you're doing the right thing." He was even more sure due to the phone call he'd gotten early that morning from Jack. It was the second time Jack had called him in the past week, which for Jack was very unusual.

"_Are you sure she doesn't know?" Jack asked anxiously._

"_I'm sure. We talked about the statue, and she said she didn't know who made it. But Jack, she did tell me something else….something sort of upsetting."_

"_What?"_

"_Mike asked her to marry him."_

He and Jack hadn't talked long after that, and Daniel had gotten the feeling that Jack was very upset by the news. And now Jack was going to get a chance to make things right between him and Sam, if only the two would be open and honest with each other!

"Just be sure to tell Jack everything, Sam. Tell him how you really feel! Stop trying to protect him….or yourself," Daniel insisted.

"I'll try, Daniel," she said, and then they parted ways.

When Sam got home she phoned Mike and left a message on his answering machine, saying that she needed to get away for a few days and that she'd call him when she got back. Next she packed enough clothing or herself and the baby to last three days, since she really didn't think she'd be gone longer than that. Then she strapped DJ into his car seat, and soon they were heading south on the highway.

Since there was no quick route to Durango from Colorado Springs, and since she had to stop twice to feed and change the baby, it took her the better part of the day to get there. Arriving early in the evening, Sam checked into the first motel with a vacancy. The room wasn't anything special, but at least it was clean and spacious, and housekeeping promptly brought a crib for the baby.

After ordering dinner from the diner next door, she fed DJ, cleaned him up and put him to bed. Then she phoned Daniel, hoping that talking to him might boost her courage.

"I'm really glad you're doing this, Sam."

"I wish I felt as positive about this as you do," she replied with a half laugh.

"Look, I know you're scared, but I'm sure he still loves you. And he'll be over the moon when he finds out about DJ," he assured her.

After Daniel gave Sam a pep talk, he gave her precise directions to Jack's place, which he looked up on the internet while they talked. Then they chatted a bit about other things having to do with work, until there was a knock on her door.

"Someone's at the door. It must be the food I ordered."

"Okay. Well, good luck! Call me after you've spoken to Jack, okay?"

"I will, Daniel. And thanks!"

The next morning she made her way to the address, which was on the outskirts of town and adjacent to the National Forest. The location reminded her somewhat of Jack's house in Colorado Springs, and she knew at once that he liked it out here.

The pale yellow house at the end of the road was small but appeared to be well-maintained. It had relatively new shingles on the roof, and the painted exterior didn't show any signs of peeling. The yard was fenced in by split rails which had weathered to a dark gray. The vegetation was mostly natural, the ground cover of deer grass, fescue and dandelion dotted here and there by small pine trees and a few blue spruce. Squirrels chattered in the taller trees, and two Blue Jays darted among the lower branches, calling out to each other with occasional loud squawks.

The morning sun was already warming the late spring air, which smelled crisp and clean, except for the slight odor of pine smoke which Sam surmised was coming from the house's chimney. The setting was lovely, and under other circumstances she would have enjoyed being there. But as it was, all she felt was fear and trepidation.

After parking on the gravel driveway about twenty feet from the garage and next to the older Jeep CJ, Sam checked on the baby. He was sound asleep, the motion of the car having its usual effect on him. So she left him there and got out, figuring she'd find out what sort of mood Jack was in first.

When she knocked on the front door of the house, there was no answer, so she knocked again, figuring someone must be at home because of the Jeep on the drive. But still there was no answer, and she was about to get back into the car when she noticed one of the wooden garage doors was standing slightly ajar.

The garage seemed more neglected than the house. Unlike the house it was not painted yellow and white, but stained a dark reddish brown. Sam walked over to the door and peered around it, expecting to see maybe a car, or tools and a tool bench, or something of that nature.

But what she saw inside the old garage caused her mouth to fall open in amazement.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter twelve

Without thinking that she might have the wrong house, or that she was trespassing, Sam pulled the garage door open a little more and stepped inside, the old door creaking on its hinges. Her eyes immediately settled on a strange looking contraption to the left, but her attention was quickly pulled away when she heard a man's voice coming from the shadows to her right.

"Whatever you're selling, I don't want any," said a gruff voice that could only belong to one person.

"It's me, Sir."

Jack turned around where he stood, and his jaw dropped. Then he stepped forward into the light, and the two just stared at each other for several seconds.

It seemed like an eternity before he could get his mouth to work, and then what he said wasn't very polite. "How'd you find me? Wait, don't tell me; it was Daniel."

"Please don't blame him, Sir….Jack. I begged him to tell me." It wasn't true that she had begged Daniel. On the contrary, Daniel had volunteered the address. But she didn't want Jack to know how reluctant and scared she'd been to do this….still was.

"If you've come to tell me you're getting married, I already know." Daniel had told him that Mike had asked her to marry him.

"No, I'm not! I mean I haven't given Mike my answer yet. But that isn't what I need to talk to you about," she told him. "Please, I really need to talk to you."

She watched as Jack looked around as though he needed a place to sit down, and Sam wondered if he was feeling just as nervous she was?

"It's cold out here. Let's go in the house."

Jack walked past her and out the garage door, crossing in front of Sam's car, where DJ was just waking up. Jack heard the baby fussing and stopped. "You better bring the baby in too," he told her, and then he walked away, leaving her to get the baby out of the car and follow after him.

Sam carried DJ in through the front door, which was now wide open. She didn't know if she should close it or not, so she just left it that way. Then she looked around at the tidy living room, with its Maple furniture, colorful pillows and throw rugs, and warm cozy fireplace. Jack was standing with one arm on the mantel, but as she moved into the room he hurried to the front door and shut it. Then he went back to the fireplace and began stoking the embers. The log, which he had obviously just added before she came inside, sparked to life as they stood there silently watching it.

"**Da**!" DJ shouted loudly, causing both adults to jump. The baby was looking at the flames and pointing his chubby hand in their general direction. "Da!" he shouted again.

Sam laughed self-consciously. "He calls everything by the same word," she said uneasily.

"Yah, I remember what that was like. What's his name?" Jack asked, as he looked at the baby's face for the first time. He realized now that the baby was older than he'd first thought.

"Daniel Jacob," she replied, but Jack's next words overshadowed hers, as he stepped up to get a better look.

"Christ, he looks just like Charlie did when he was a baby!"

"Yes, I know. I mean I saw photos of Charlie once, when I was at your house."

"When was he born?" Jack asked. The notion that had formed in his brain still seemed too impossible to be true.

"October twenty-sixth." Sam could see Jack doing the math in his head, and she knew what was coming next.

"He's mine," he stated. The boy was six months old, that meant she'd gotten pregnant while they were still together.

"Yes, he is."

Jack was shocked! It had never occurred to him that Sam's baby was his. Why the hell hadn't she told him?!

"All this time and you never said anything," he said accusingly.

"You didn't really give me a chance. You wouldn't see me after your surgery, and then you went running off without even saying good-bye."

"But you knew where I was. Daniel was there with me when I was in the hospital in Alaska." He was certain that Daniel would have told her where he was living, since Sam and Daniel talked about everything. But then she said something that he had never suspected.

"Yes, I knew. I was there too. I went to Alaska with Daniel, but you were too delirious to realize who I was. You kept calling me Sara."

"Sara is my ex-wife."

"I know. But it was her name you kept calling, so I figured you hadn't gotten over her, that you wanted her and not me."

"For crying out loud, Carter, I was delirious! My mind was stuck in the past. It didn't mean anything!"

"What about when I saw you two weeks later? You wouldn't even talk to me that day in the briefing room."

"I saw the baby, and I figured you had someone else. Excuse me, if I didn't feel like being kicked while I was down," he said, his voice filled with spite and sarcasm.

"It sounds like we've both made mistakes, Jack."

Still hurting from the fact that Sam had kept the news of his son from him for so long, Jack's response wasn't at all forgiving. "Speak for yourself. What do you want from me, Carter?"

"I don't want anything for myself. You've made your feelings about me perfectly clear. My concern is for our son. Do you want to be a part of his life, or not?"

Jack hesitated. How could he answer her, when he wasn't even sure he was capable of being a good father? He'd blown it once. Who was to say he wouldn't screw up again?

"Jack?"

"I'm not sure how to answer you," he said honestly. Everything seemed to be happening too fast!

"Well, you better think of something quick, or I'm leaving!" She could accept him treating her like she was inconsequential, but she wasn't about to let anyone treat her son that way! DJ was fussing now, as though he sensed something was wrong. She needed to get him someplace where she could feed him and he could take his morning nap. This had been a bad idea from the start. If only she'd seen that!

"Carter, it's not as easy as that. I'm too old to be a proper father to him, and with this…." Jack looked down at his left leg. Even though it was covered by his jeans, for him it was always visible, a reminder of how much he'd changed. "How can I play ball with him, teach him how to play hockey or baseball, show him how to ride a bike? And I don't live in Colorado Springs anymore. I'm here now, for good. I've started a new career."

"That's just an excuse! You don't really want either of us!"

It wasn't true that he didn't want them. He just didn't think he deserved them, especially now. And if he let Sam go, she could find someone more qualified to be a good father to their son.

"I'm sorry you wasted your time coming here," he said finally.

"I'm not. At least now I know where we stand. Good-bye, Jack. Have a good life," she said albeit angrily. Then she yanked open the door and made a hasty exit, with DJ crying in her arms as though he understood what had just happened.

Without a backward glance Sam drove away. And when the house was completely out of sight, she pulled over and stopped the car, but she was unable to stop her tears from falling.

_How could I have fallen in love with someone so cold-hearted and so self-absorbed? Can't he see that he's hurting his own child? _

Sam blew her nose and shushed little DJ, who was still crying. "Everything's okay, sweetheart. Don't cry! Things are going to be just fine," she assured her son, even though she didn't really believe it.

_Pull yourself together, Sam! There's no hope for anything between you and Jack now. You are all your son has, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and start thinking of him! _

After one last dab at her red swollen eyes, Sam drove back to the motel, where she packed up their stuff, changed the baby, and checked out. Then she drove home.

During the drive she thought about a lot of things, including how her son was going to grow up without a father, unless she did something about it.

So, when she arrived home that evening, she put the baby to bed and then she phoned Mike and asked him to come over. He seemed surprised and said he couldn't wait to see her, and he'd be there soon. Then Sam went to get ready. And while she dressed in a new spring skirt and blouse, she thought about what she planned to do next. She knew if she hesitated she would probably end up telling Mike she couldn't marry him, or Mike would get tired of waiting and break up with her. So she decided to take the bull by the horns and just get it over with.

She still had the rest of the week off and next weekend too, and she figured she might as well use the time to her advantage. Maybe she and Mike could get married, and then the three of them could go someplace together as a family?

_Sure, that's the answer! Now all you have to do is pretend to be happy_, she told herself spitefully. _Go ahead! Marry someone you don't love. Then you can hurt him, just like you hurt Jack._

But Sam pushed the negative thoughts out of her head, and by the time Mike arrived she had applied fresh makeup and rearranged her hair. He was obviously pleased by what he saw when she opened the door.

"Wow! Baby, where have you been all my life?" he asked playfully as he pulled her into his strong arms. Sam let him guide her to the sofa, where they kissed for a while, until his hands started to wander.

"Wait! First I've got something to tell you."

"I hope it's good news, 'cause I had a shitty day today."

"Oh? What happened?"

"No, you tell me your news first," he insisted, staring down at her.

"I've decided I want to marry you."

"Yahoo!" Mike shouted, and then he kissed her hard on the mouth, while she pushed against his chest with both hands. She knew if she didn't slow him down, they'd end up in bed before she got a chance to tell him the rest.

"Mike, I want to get married right away. This week, while I have time off. I don't know when I'll get the chance again," she lied. The truth was she was afraid, if given time, she'd change her mind.

"Okay, I guess I can do that. I'll need to talk to my CO, but I've got some leave coming."

"Good! I'll make all the arrangements."

"I can help. Or don't you think I have what it takes?" he asked, rolling his eyes at her as his arms came around her, his left hand slipping up under her blouse.

"Oh, I think you've got what it takes alright," she replied sassily. Mike was a very good lover, although he wasn't the best she'd ever had. And it wasn't just a matter of size either, although Jack did have the biggest…. _ No, damn it! Stop thinking about Jack! _Sam silently insisted.

"Come on, Mike, show me what you've got," she purred as she began undoing the buttons on his uniform shirt. She figured there was one thing that might make her stop thinking about Jack….at least for a few minutes.

"I'd be happy to, Ma'am!" Mike laughed loudly, as he pulled her to her feet.

"Shhh! DJ's asleep!"

"No problem. Bed's are over-rated," he remarked as he pushed her down on the sofa. There he made hot, passionate love to her for the next hour and a half, and Sam almost forgot about Jack. Almost.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

The phone call Janet got that evening was a real shock.

"You're getting married?!"

"This Thursday."

"But why so soon?" Janet knew that Mike had asked Sam to marry him, but the last time they had talked about it Sam had said she wasn't sure what she should do. And now this!

"Because I have the week off."

"Why?"

"I asked for time off, Janet." Sam was beginning to feel frustrated with her best friend. Why wasn't the woman happy for her?

"Sam, what's going on? You never take time off."

"Well, I did, and I don't want to waste it."

"Yes, that's a good reason to get married," Janet remarked sarcastically.

"Okay, the truth is I took time off so I could go see Jack."

"Well?"

"Well, I saw him, but he isn't interested in me or in being a father to his son."

"He isn't? Are you sure?" This was something Janet never thought she'd hear. She was certain that Jack loved Sam. As for the baby…she really couldn't see Jack turning his back on a child, any child!

"Yes, I'm sure. Look, I know you wanted Jack and me to get together, but you just have to forget about it. Now try to be happy for me, can't you?"

"I'm sorry, honey, it's just such a shock. What can I do to help?"

"First you can call around and find a nice private dining room. I want to have a dinner for our close friends and a few family members, mostly his of course. Arrange it for Wednesday night, for twenty people, adults only. I'll let you know if the number changes. And I'll take care of the invitations. You just take care of the location and the menu. Okay?"

"Okay. What else?"

"Be my witness?"

"Of course I will! What shall I wear?"

"Something nice. How about that pink suit you love so much?"

"Well at least I won't have to waste money on something I'll never wear again," Janet replied, making a little joke. But clearly Sam was in no mood to notice.

"Oh, I almost forgot! Do you think Cassie would mind watching DJ instead of going to the dinner? I don't want to hurt her feelings, so please tell her I want her to be at the wedding."

"That sounds perfect! She'll be tickled to death to take care of the baby. You can bring him over to my house. And bring your dress too. That way I can help you get ready."

"Great! Now I need to call Daniel. I want him to be a witness too. And there's something else I need for him to do."

"What?" Janet thought Sam suddenly sounded apprehensive.

"Well, I'm inviting General Hammond to the dinner, and I don't think it would be right not to invite Jack."

"And you're going to ask Daniel to invite Jack for you? Sam, do you think it's fair to put that burden on Daniel?"

"I know, I know, but I just can't bring myself to speak to him about this. And it's just a formality anyway. Most likely he won't show up, but at least he won't be able to say he wasn't invited."

"Sam, honey, are you sure you wanna go through with this?"

"Janet, Mike loves me, and DJ needs a father! Now help me or not, but I need to know now."

"I'd do just about anything for you, honey, so count me in."

Jack had just laid down in bed when his phone rang. He turned on his side and reached for the phone. "Yah?" he asked grumpily.

"Jack, it's me, Daniel."

"Do you know what time it is?" He normally got up with the chickens, so any time after 21:00 was late for him.

"Ten-thirty, why?"

"Never mind. What d'ya want?" he asked, as he supported himself on one elbow.

"Sam told me she went to see you."

"Yah, so?"

"So I know she told you about DJ….that he's your son."

"Sounds like you already know everything there is to know. So why are you bothering me?" Jack asked crossly.

"Sam's getting married this week." He had more to tell Jack, but he decided to get the worst part over with first.

"That's just peachy, Daniel. I'll send her and what's-his-name a toaster."

"Jack, this is serious! They're getting married this Thursday! And there's gonna be a dinner for close friends and family the night before, here in town at the Sheraton. Sam would like for you to come."

"Why?"

"Because you're her friend!"

"Not anymore."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Jack. Sam will be disappointed if you're not there."

"I doubt it. Good-bye, Daniel," Jack said and then he hung up.

After the phone call Jack sat up in bed, sliding over until his right leg was hanging down off the bed. He stared down at his left knee, which was nothing more than a stump now, and took a big, shaky breath. Then he put his face in his hands and wept. He cried for several minutes, like he hadn't cried since Charlie died, and then he reached for his artificial limb.

By the time he got to the living room, he was holding a glass in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

Jack sat up late into the night drinking and thinking about Sam, and of course whether or not he should attend the dinner. It wasn't that he wished her anything but good things in her life. And it wasn't that he didn't think the guy she intended to marry was a bad guy or anything like that. It was just that he didn't want to accept that he had lost her forever.

So Jack oscillated between going to the dinner and not going. But he finally decided he would go, because he didn't want Sam to think he hated her. Far from it; he would love her until the day he died.

The next day he packed a bag and drove to Colorado Springs where he bought a new gray suit just for the occasion. He was pleased to see that at least he hadn't put on any weight since his days on SG-1, and he thought the suit looked good on him. This made him very glad he'd gotten the prosthetic limb. At least from the outside he looked like a whole person.

But when it came time for him to go to the dining room, he couldn't bring himself to do it. So he ended up in the hotel cocktail lounge, drinking double shots of Irish whiskey.

In the dining room there were two round tables that seated ten people each. The centerpieces, which Sam had chosen, were made of pink and white roses, and were arranged in small silver bowls. Sam arrived early with Janet to make sure everything was as ordered, which it was.

"I wish Dad could be here." She had sent him a message, but she knew there was no way he could get here on such short notice. She just hoped he'd understand and forgive her.

"There's still time to call this off," Janet said hopefully. She still thought Sam was making a terrible mistake.

"Janet, stop it!"

"I'm sorry, honey. I just don't want you to have any regrets," Janet said as she hugged her friend, careful not to wrinkle Sam's dress.

"I know. Oh, golly…." Sam breathed out as she looked at her watch. It seemed like she had barely had time to take a breath, and now it was time for the dinner to begin!

Promptly at 7 pm people began strolling into the room. Mike and his parents, and his older brother and wife were the first to arrive. They were followed closely by Daniel and Teal'c. Teal'c was wearing a black beret, which discreetly covered his gold tattoo, with a three-piece, charcoal gray suit, and Daniel was wearing a blue suit that Sam thought made his eyes look even bluer.

General Hammond arrived by himself, but walked along with Sam's head lab technician, AF Sergeant Ellen Mathews. They were both in their AF dress blues, and there were a few more Air Force officers as well, including Sam's advisor from the Academy, Lt. Col. Peter Rush.

There were also several friends of Mike's, including one that Sam had met several times previously. His name was Dennis O'Brien, and he was Mike's best friend as well as a fellow marine. With him was his wife, Cheryl, who was six months pregnant. Joe Briggs, the man who had made a pass at her a few months back, was there as well, and Sam prayed that he wouldn't cause any trouble.

Sam, who had gotten ready at Janet's, was wearing a pale pink, cocktail-length dress. It was snugly fitted through the hips and waist and showed off her perfect figure, including her ample cleavage. The neckline of the bodice was studded with tiny pearls and crystal beads, and over the strapless dress she wore a matching satin jacket that came just to her waist.

It had been Mike's decision to wear his dress uniform. This was the first time Sam had seen him in it, and she thought he looked very handsome and distinguished, especially with all the medals on his chest. But her attention kept wandering to the double doors at the back of the room. She knew that Daniel had invited Jack, and she couldn't stop wondering if he'd show up.

"Honey, you okay?" Mike asked as he took her hand and held it on the table between them.

"Yes, I'm fine. Why?"

"You seem to be someplace else," he said quietly, his expression worried.

"No! No, I'm right here," she assured him. But she knew that what he said was true; she was with Jack, at least in her heart.

Mike's brother, James, spoke first, razzing his little brother about the mischief he'd gotten into as a child, saying that he didn't see why any woman in her right mind would want him. Everyone laughed at his good-natured ribbing of his baby brother, and then Daniel, who had on a dark blue suit that brought out the blue of his eyes, spoke next. He teased Sam about her almost constant babbling about scientific things, which he said no one was smart enough to understand but her. But he also complimented her on her kindness, her bravery and her ability to think calmly, even in the face of great danger. Then he joked, saying if he told anyone about the times she had saved his life, he'd have to kill them.

He had just finished offering a toast to the couple, when they all heard a commotion at the entrance to the private dining room.

"Get your hands off me!" a loud, angry voice shouted.

"Oh, no," Sam said under her breath. She recognized the irate voice immediately and knew what it meant; Jack had shown up after all, but he was drunker than a skunk. So it wasn't Joe Briggs she had to worry about after all; it was Jack O'Neill.

By now everyone's eyes were focused at the back of the room, where Jack was trying to get past three male hotel employees as well as the dining room manager. With the seeming strength of Hercules he somehow managed to get away from them, and then he stood in the center of the big room, looking directly at Sam.

"I wasn't gonna come to this clam bake, but I couldn't stay away from you, Carter. I know I don't deserve you, but I love you more than life itself. And if you'll marry me instead of him, I promise I will try my damnedest to be the husband you deserve and the father DJ deserves."

A shocked silence fell over the room. Mike was the first person to speak. "Who is that asshole?" he asked, as he shoved back his chair. Sam could tell that he was ready to take care of the lunatic who was interrupting their dinner party, so she quickly put a hand on his arm.

"Mike, no! That's Jack O'Neill, my ex-CO. He's drunk and doesn't know what he's saying. Please, Mike, don't make things worse." She felt Mike's muscles relax, but she still didn't feel relieved. This was worse than anything she could have imagined!

While the hotel employees tried to convince Jack to leave peacefully, the guests began quietly talking amongst themselves. Most of them were surprised and confused by what he'd said, while a few were not.

The disturbance escalated, and suddenly they saw Jack stumble and almost fall as he took a swing at one of the men. This time Mike and several other men stood up, Teal'c among them.

"Hey, O'Neill, if you've got a bone to pick with someone, I'm your man!" Mike called out.

"I've got shoes older than you, son," Jack scoffed. "Come over here and let me see the boy who thinks he's man enough to make Sam Carter happy!"

"Oh, crap!" Sam said. It didn't take much imagination to see where this was heading.

"You stay here, honey. I'll take care of that loser," he told her, but Sam was out of her chair before he could get away.

"No! No, please, I can handle this. I need to speak to him. No matter what, he's still my friend," she said, and then she turned to the group. "Please, everyone, stay in your seats. Daniel, Janet, please stay here and take care of our guests."

"Of course, Sam. Whatever you want," Janet said, as she looked at Daniel who was seated next to her.

Then Sam looked Mike in the eye. "I'm really sorry about this. I'll be back as soon as I can," she assured him, and then she literally ran toward the exit. By this time Jack was being pushed and shoved out the door, while cursing the men who were man-handling him.

"Let him go! He's my guest!" she stated loudly, as she hurried over to the men, who were now standing in a group in the wide hallway outside the private banquet rooms.

Two men had been holding onto Jack's arms, but they let him go when they heard her. Turning on one man, Jack cussed him out, calling him a few choice expletives, before straightening his tie and turning a smiling face toward Sam.

"Hey, Carter! Wow, you sure look pretty!" he exclaimed, as though he'd just noticed she was dressed up.

"You look pretty nice yourself, Sir," she said, smiling despite the anger and frustration she was feeling toward him. He had ruined the dinner party! And he had probably ruined her chances with Mike. But he did look very handsome in the gray suit with the black shirt and silver tie. She loved the way the tie brought out the silver in his hair.

"Where are we going, Carter?" he asked, giving her a confused look as he swayed on his feet. She could tell that he needed to sit down before he fell down. And they also needed to talk, although she wasn't sure he would be capable of doing so for the next few hours. So she'd have to take him someplace private, someplace where he could sober up and she could think.

Making a snap decision she put an arm around Jack's middle and his right arm over her shoulders, and then she began walking him toward the exit. A taxi had just let some people out at the curb, so Sam shoved Jack into the back seat and got in beside him.

"Where to, lady?" the taxi driver asked.

Sam gave the driver her address, and then she sat back in the seat next to Jack.

He turned toward her and grinned at her mischievously. "Taking me to your place, Carter? I like the way you think!"

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter fourteen

They went to her house in the taxi, but when they got there Sam remembered she had no money to pay the driver.

The taxi driver looked at her suspiciously as he repeated the amount they owed him. And when she wasn't forthcoming with the fare, and Jack didn't move a muscle, he began berating them in a foreign language.

So Sam hurriedly began searching Jack's pockets for his wallet. He had fallen asleep during the drive, but as she shoved her hand down into his right pants pocket, he woke up. Then he grabbed her hand through the fabric and grinned at her like the Cheshire Cat.

"All you had to do is ask," he slurred drunkenly, while giving her a salacious look.

"No, Jack, I need some money to pay the cab driver. Let me have your wallet!" She jerked her hand out and the wallet came with it. After paying the taxi driver, she slipped the wallet into her evening bag so she wouldn't lose it, and also so she wouldn't cause Jack to jump to anymore wrong conclusions.

Sam somehow managed to pull Jack out of the back seat. And with him leaning heavily on her, they slowly made it to her front door where she fumbled in her fancy purse for her key. Finally she found it and unlocked the door.

Since Jack couldn't even hold a coffee cup, Sam decided sleep was what Jack needed the most. So she led him into the bedroom, where he stumbled into the bed and fell forward, flopping down on his belly.

"Jack, you can't go to sleep like this! You should get undressed first." She was thankful that DJ wasn't there, and while she knew this wasn't he best place for Jack to be right now, she had no idea what else to do with him. She didn't know where he was staying, and though she figured Daniel might know, right now she was too busy trying to take care of Jack to try and find out.

He was what mattered right now. He was obviously very upset about her marrying Mike. No matter how cold and uncaring he had seemed that day when she'd gone to see him, he obviously did care about her….a lot, if his drunken proposal was any indication.

Besides, she figured this was her mess, and she should clean it up. Daniel couldn't help her and neither could anyone else. She knew now that she had tried to do a very foolish thing. There was no way she could ever be happy married to someone other than Jack. But how was she supposed to deal with a man who wouldn't even admit how he truly felt about her?!

"We'll talk when you're sober. But right now I need to get you undressed," she said aloud as she removed her jacket and high-heeled shoes. She hung the jacket in the closet. Then she got to work, removing Jack's suit coat before turning him over onto his back. His shoes came next, followed by his tie. Then she unbuttoned his shirt and unbuckled his belt, while kneeling next to him on the bed. Her actions brought back memories of the time they'd spent together as lovers, but she didn't let the titillating thoughts distract her from her mission.

The next part would be the most difficult, because more than anything it made her recall other times when she'd done this for him. But this time her goal was not to get him aroused, but to get him comfortable. Never the less, by the time she had removed his suit pants, his boxers were tented and he was clearly aroused. Clearly being drunk did not impede Jack's ability to have sex! She could have ridden him right then, without him even knowing about it, but she would have known and felt terrible about it.

Even though his cock seemed to be calling out to her, Sam tried not to look at it, concentrating her attention on his prosthetic leg and foot instead. Carefully, so as not to awaken him, she removed his left sock and then his right one. And then she just sat there staring. She had seen artificial limbs before, but never this closely. And she had never touched one before either….until now.

Gently she stroked the cold, hard limb. Then her desire to touch his flesh got the better of her, and she put her hand on his thigh. His skin felt warm and the muscle firm and strong, just like she remembered. Obviously Jack was not out of shape, just because he'd lost a limb. In fact, he seemed to be in top physical form.

Jack stirred in his sleep and mumbled something unintelligible, startling Sam from her lust-filled thoughts. She quickly removed her hand from his leg and leaned over him, pulling him up by one arm. And while she held him in a seated position, she pulled his shirt down off his shoulders. Then she worked it down one arm and then the other. Now all he had on was a white undershirt and a pair of white boxer shorts, the things she knew he usually slept in.

Next Sam coaxed, tugged and shoved, until Jack was lying with his head on a pillow and most of his body was under the covers. Satisfied that at least he was comfortable and peaceful for now, she went into the living room to begin dealing with the mess she had made of her life.

She checked her messages, and then she phoned Janet, who had phoned her several times and who was obviously still at the hotel.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at home. What happened after I left?"

"Mike was very vocal about what he thinks has been going on between you and Jack behind his back. Of course both Daniel and I told him he was wrong about you….General Hammond did too, but Mike wasn't in any mood to listen. You should have seen Teal'c's face when he called you a slut!"

"Oh, my God, was anyone hurt?"

"No, it didn't actually come to blows. Daniel was able to talk them out of it, but Mike went storming out of here about fifteen minutes after you left. Sam, you really messed up."

"I know." She knew how angry Mike must be, and therefore she was surprised that he hadn't phoned her. And so far, he hadn't shown up at her door either. "I wonder if he went home." Mike had an apartment on base. They had talked about him moving in with her, but so far nothing had been settled. It was almost like they'd never thought about what would happen after they were married, which made her wonder if either of them had been living in reality.

"Sam, you shouldn't try to talk to Mike tonight. Let him cool down first."

"I guess I should give him a little time." She knew Janet was right. Besides, she really didn't want to leave Jack just now. He could still be sick, and he might need her.

"Where's Jack?" Janet asked, although she suspected he was with Sam.

"He's here, asleep in my bed. He passed out in the cab."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'm not sure, Janet," Sam replied sorrowfully. "Janet, I never meant to hurt anyone."

"I know you didn't."

Very early the next morning Sam woke up to the sounds of someone banging around in the other room. So she threw the covers off and stood up from the sofa, wiping the sleep out of her eyes as she stumbled to the kitchen.

"What are you doing, Sir?" she asked as she watched Jack moving around the kitchen in his undershirt and suit pants. He was opening and closing cabinet doors as he went.

"Where the hell do you keep the coffee?" he asked testily, frowning at her.

"I'll make it. Why don't you go take a shower?" she suggested.

"Why, do I smell bad?" he asked with a small grin, even though he still felt like crap. He was also feeling a bit embarrassed that she'd seen his left leg, but his uneasy feelings didn't keep him from noticing how hot she looked, with her pajama bottoms hanging low on her hips, and her thin tank top clinging to her perky breasts.

So he slowly looked her up and down, recalling a time when he would have gone to her and fondled her breasts right about now. And they probably would have ended up making love, maybe even here in the kitchen. But that was then, and this was now. Things had changed….that is he had changed.

"No, you don't smell bad, but a shower will make you feel better."

Jack considered this for a minute, wondering if he could cope without help in a strange bathroom. But then he agreed, not wanting her to know that doing something as simple as showering could be so difficult for a one-legged man.

He left the room then, but not before giving Sam another look filled with longing and doubt. God, how he loved her! Was there really any chance that she still wanted him?! Was that why she had left the dinner so readily? Jack felt very confused, so he left the room quietly, his mind filled with questions.

When he looked at her like that, Sam felt positively weak in the knees! Nothing had changed; she knew that now. She was still crazy about the man! Thinking back on what she'd done to him, she shook her head in consternation.

How could I break up with Jack? How could I convince myself that my career was more important than the man I love? I must have been out of mind! Maybe I'm still out of my mind? For crying out loud I'm engaged to another man, and yet here I am playing house with Jack. And what about Mike? Will he ever be able to forgive me?

Sam didn't have all the answers, but she did know one thing; she was finished pretending that she could be satisfied with anyone but Jack.

Making the coffee took only a few minutes, and when it was ready she poured some into a large mug, which she carried to the bathroom. There, driven by a need to finally make things right between them, and afraid that she would lose her courage if she put off telling Jack how she truly felt, she opened the door and stepped inside.

When she opened the door, Jack was looking at himself in the mirror. He thought he really should shave, but he didn't have his shaving kit with him, or anything else for that matter. In fact, without his crutch to balance in the shower, he had almost fallen. But fortunately he had gotten along okay. Plus he had managed to put his artificial limb back on before she came in.

"Here," she said as she handed him the coffee mug. Jack took it from her and stood there sipping it, while Sam tried not to look at his bare chest and arms. She also tried not to think about the fact that all he was wearing was a towel, which was barely clinging to his lean hips.

"I need to shave," he said, grasping for something to say. He was still suffering from the effects of the alcohol, as well as the reality of where he was. Waking up in Sam's bed had been like a dream come true, but then reality had kicked him in the ass, and he'd remembered what had happened the night before. He'd made a fool of himself in front of their friends.

Just now he had taken a shower in her bathroom, just like old times. But he knew things weren't really the same between them. She was engaged to marry someone else, and he was not even a whole man anymore.

"Oh, I have shaving foam and a razor!" Sam responded excitedly. Actually they were Mike's, but she wasn't about to mention his name at a time like this. She gave Jack a little shove with her hip, and when he moved over a bit, she opened the cabinet under the sink and took out the razor and the can.

"Here!" she said, setting them down on the countertop. Then she stood next to Jack, watching while he applied the foam to his face. He worked quickly and confidently, but when he began shaving, he nicked himself.

"Shit!" He had cut himself. Sam was making him nervous, but of course he didn't want to admit it. He was much too macho to admit it. "Must be a dull blade," he said, as he ripped off a section of toilet paper. Trying to keep his hand from shaking, Jack dabbed at the bloody spot on his chin. But the small cut kept bleeding.

Seeing the blood, Sam grabbed a tissue from the box on the counter. Then she touched it to her tongue, before reaching for his face.

"Let me do it," she told him, her blue eyes staring into his dark brown ones.

"Just hold still," she said softly. Her left hand held his chin, while her right hand cleaned up the tiny cut. She had noticed his hand shaking as he shaved, and she suspected she was making him nervous. But she didn't care. She had his undivided attention now, and she wasn't leaving until they sorted things out!

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen

"Sit down and I'll shave you." She was relieved when Jack did as she asked. He even moved his knees apart so she could stand between them.

She shaved him slowly and carefully, recalling a time or two when she'd done this for him before. And when she was finished to her satisfaction, she used a clean towel to wipe off the excess foam. Then she bent down and kissed him on the mouth.

At first he didn't kiss her back, so she tried again. This time he pulled her down on his lap and kissed her until they were both panting and struggling to breathe. And by the time she managed to end the kiss, Jack had his right hand down her pajama bottoms. He squeezed her bare ass with one hand, while his other hand sneaked up into her tank top, where it fondled her breast.

Totally immersed in a tide of desire, she rolled her hips, pressing herself down on Jack's erection, which she could feel growing larger by the second. But just feeling him like this was not enough! Her desire for him was so great that she stood up and quickly pulled off her pants, before sitting back down, this time with her legs straddling his hips.

Now she was facing him, and the only thing between their lower bodies was the towel he had tucked around his waist. But Sam knew how to take care of that. A little more grinding, and it came loose. Sam lifted up and let the towel fall open, revealing his erection. Sam looked down between his legs and then back up into his eyes, giving him a sexy smile.

"I'm so glad it was just your leg they had to cut off," she said with a deep-throated chuckle. And then she looped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him, till his cock was pressing into her folds, and her breasts were crushed against his chest as she kissed him once again.

His hands continued to fondle and explore her, Sam hips continued to press his swollen flesh closer to her opening, and it wasn't long before neither of them could think about anything else but how great it felt to be touching each other like this. And though Sam had been the one to initiate the sexual encounter, Jack was determined to be the one to finish it! Her blatant desire for him had repaired his injured ego, and now all he could think about was making up for all the time they'd lost.

Recalling what she liked, he reached between them and located her clit, giving it a few tentative rubs with his middle finger. Then he pressed harder, his mouth never leaving hers. Immediately her entire body shuddered in his arms, and her thighs squeezed his hips as she cried out, her vocal reaction swallowed by his eager mouth. He wet his finger in her juices and continued to fondle her little love bud, until it was swollen and stiff. And then suddenly Sam seemed to just fall apart as she came again.

Unable to breath, she broke off the kiss and slammed her face into his neck, biting him beneath the ear as she groaned in blissful agony. This was too much and yet not enough! She wanted him like she'd never wanted any man! No one compared to Jack….no one! She needed to feel him inside her, in any way possible, so she grabbed his hand and pushed, shoving his fingers into her sensitive flesh, where they stroked her G-spot until she thought she would die.

"Do it for God's sake!" she begged, and Jack smiled. He knew when Carter couldn't take anymore, when she was primed and ready to be fucked good and hard. But of course in this position, she would need to do most of the work. However, he had a feeling she wouldn't mind, so, knowing she was wet and ready for him, he removed his fingers and replaced them with the head of his cock, which by now was feeling like it was going to explode.

He was very pleased when Sam lifted up a bit and helped him get situated. Then she lowered herself onto him, taking him whole, and Jack's heart nearly stopped beating from the shock of how damned great it felt. He had forgotten just how tight she was and how good she felt, as her snug passage adjusted to his size, warmly massaging and squeezing him with her silken flesh, until he thought he'd go mad.

"I've missed you," she admitted breathlessly. Then her lips found his once again, and she forgot about breathing or about anything else but how good it felt to be fucked by Jack O'Neill.

"Coulda fooled me," he replied around her mouth, as he gripped her swaying hips with his hands. Even though he was about ready to implode, he wasn't letting her off the hook that easily. She had dumped him, not the other way around, and he wanted an apology damn it!

But his mind quickly went back to what they were doing. He was pleased to discover that his artificial leg worked well in this situation, and he didn't feel like an invalid. In fact he was able to use it quite well to help lift his hips, meeting her downward moves with powerful upward thrusts of his own. Having sex was making him feel like a whole man, which was something he never thought he'd feel again.

Sam knew she was close to coming again, and yet she had to speak in her own defense. She wasn't the only one who had made a mistake! So she pulled back and looked him in the eye, as her hips continued to lift up and down. "I wanted to tell you how I felt, but you kept avoiding me," she choked out, as she ground down on him, her hips moving frantically above his.

"Shut up, Carter!" he ordered sternly, his need to come overpowering his need to have things out with her. They could talk later. Right now all he wanted to do was come!

Using his military voice apparently worked, because she didn't say another word, except for the unintelligible cries she made as she rode him like her life depended on it. Only a minute passed before they both came hard, their bodies shaking with the force of their orgasms.

Afterward, as they cuddled in her bed, Jack thought back to what she had said. He had to admit she had a point; he had been avoiding her. "I'm sorry I left town without talking to you. I was avoiding you," he admitted.

"I wanted to tell you about the baby, but you kept running away!" she cried emphatically.

"I was afraid of being hurt again," he explained.

"So you went out and got engaged to the first guy who came along?" he whined. She was engaged to someone else. In fact she was supposed to marry the guy today. What was it that had attracted Sam to Mike? Does he have a dick as big as his ego? Jack wondered. Jack thought Sam and Mike didn't have much in common. Sure he was in the military, but he was a jar head, and Jack bet he wasn't all that smart either. I bet if he added two and two, he'd get five, Jack thought spitefully. To him a marine was nothing but muscle, even between his ears. But at least Mike had two good legs.

"That's not fair! I just wanted DJ to have a father."

"But you love him."

"No, not really. I like him, and I respect him, but I want you!"

"Why would you want to be stuck with someone like me?"

"Stop putting yourself down! I don't feel stuck with you. I love you, you stubborn fool! I've loved you since the first time we met, and I always will! I don't care about your leg, or that you're no longer in the military. All I care about is you! And now we have a wonderful son, and there's nothing standing in our way. We can be a real family now, can't we? You want that, don't you?"

God, if he doesn't, I don't know what I'll do! Mike will probably never speak to me again, and my friends must think I'm crazy.

Jack was tired of trying to make sense of things. If Sam wanted him, then he figured he'd be a fool to turn her down. Although he still found it hard to believe that someone like Sam would want someone like him. So he said what was in his heart, "Yes, I want that very much."

"Does that mean you want to get married?"

"Eh….sure, if you want to."

"I do!" she cried, and they kissed. Then Sam gave him one of her million dollar smiles. "Let's get married right away. Okay?"

"Sure, but what about what's-his-name?" Jack still wasn't willing to speak the man's name out loud.

"Oh, golly!" In her excitement she had totally forgotten about Mike. She needed to explain things to him, and she also needed to explain to her friends. "I guess I have some phone calls to make. But first I need to go have a talk with Mike."

"Do you want me to come with you?" He really didn't like the idea of Sam facing that guy alone.

"No, Jack. This is something I have to do by myself."

Sam knew that Mike was angry, but she hoped he had calmed down enough to listen to her. Somehow she had to make him believe that she had never meant to hurt him. So she got dressed and drove over to Peterson AFB. When she pulled up in front of the two-story brick apartment building, his red pick-up truck was parked at the curb. So she figured he was there, but what she didn't know was what sort of mood he was in.

The door was flung open after her second knock, and Mike stood there in the doorway. He was dressed in just his knitted briefs.

"May I come in?" she asked, keeping her eyes on his face. She thought he looked like he hadn't had a wink of sleep.

"Why?"

"I need to talk to you….to explain."

"To explain what? Why we won't be getting married today? I think I've already figured that out," he responded acrimoniously, and then he turned around and walked toward the sofa.

Sam went inside and quietly closed the door behind her. She could feel the tension radiating off him. Or maybe it was just that she was feeling so tense herself? She wasn't sure which it was, but she sensed that this conversation was not going to go well at all. Never the less, she felt she had to try and make him understand what she was feeling.

As soon as her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she saw that his military-issue side arm was laying on the coffee table. When he saw her looking at it, he stepped in between her and the table, blocking her view.

"What are you going to do?" she asked nervously.

"What does it matter to you?"

"Because I care about you, Mike. I never meant to hurt you. You've got to believe that!" she begged.

"That's what everyone told me. Even my old man said I should give you a chance to explain. But I don't need to hear you say it. I know that old man is the father of your kid," he said uncharitably. "I knew it the minute I saw him."

"Yes, he is DJ's father, but he didn't find out until recently. I thought he didn't want to have anything to do with me, but….well…. he still loves me. I didn't realize how much until last night. I'm really sorry that I hurt you."

"It's okay, Sam. I forgive you."

"But how can you? I've treated you horribly." She wasn't even sure she could forgive herself.

"What do you want me to do, blow up at you?" he asked, his voice strained. "Maybe you'd like me to punish you? Is that what you want?" he asked as he grabbed her wrist.

"No, of course not! Stop it!" Sam pulled her arm away, but this time he grabbed both her arms and pulled her toward him.

"I could make you pay, Sam. Don't think I can't," he growled, a sinister look on his face.

"No Mike, please, I don't wanna fight with you," she said. But when he didn't let go, she took action. Managing to catch him off balance, she pushed him away. He went down, crashing into the table behind him, but taking her with him. The coffee table was upset in the process and fell on its side, the gun sliding off onto the floor.

The two rolled around on the floor a bit, Sam doing her best to regain control. But before she knew what was happening, she was pinned underneath him, and he had his hands around her throat.

Stop it, you're hurting me!" she choked out. Trying to pry his fingers off was not working, so she reached instinctively for the gun, which she knew was somewhere next to them on the floor. Her left hand frantically searched the floor for it, even as her vision blurred and she realized she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen.

The next thing she knew, a loud gun shot rang out, and then she felt Mike release his hold on her neck. Then suddenly his body was being pulled off her, and she could see Jack standing there looking down at her. Sam sat up, holding her neck with her right hand, as she looked over at Mike. He was lying on his side, between her and the coffee table, and at first she feared he was dead. But then she could see his chest rising and falling, and she knew he was still breathing.

Jack removed the ammunition clip from the gun and laid it on the kitchen counter, where he found a towel. Then he came back and checked the wound, which was in Mike's upper left shoulder. "He'll live," he declared.

"Thank God!"

Jack saw Mike's eyes flicker open. "The bullet went straight through. You'll be alright, kid," he said as he pressed the towel to Mike's injured shoulder. "Hold this here, marine!" Jack ordered, and Mike immediately put his hand over the towel.

While Mike held the towel in place, Jack turned to Sam, who was sitting on the floor watching the two men. Jack thought she looked a bit pale.

Jack reached down and they gripped each other's wrists. The instant she was standing, her arms went around his waist and she pressed her face into his neck. "I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt anyone," she sobbed.

"I know, honey. I know."

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen

Soon the base medics were there, along with the military police. Sam and Jack were taken in for questioning, while Mike was taken by ambulance to the base hospital.

Due to the bruises on her neck and witnesses who testified hearing Sam yelling at Mike to stop hurting her, and the fact that it had been Mike's gun that had been used to shoot him, the authorities concluded that neither Sam nor Jack had come there with the intention of hurting Mike. Also, when the police were able to talk to him, Mike verified their story.

So, after several hours of questioning, Sam and Jack were released. But even so, she still felt responsible for everything that had happened. "I'm really sorry, Jack. This is all my fault. If I hadn't accepted his proposal, none of this would have happened," she told him as he drove her back to Mike's apartment to get her car.

"I'm just as much to blame as you are, Sam. If I had told you how I felt months ago, instead of running away…."

"I figured I'd hurt you too much, or that you never really loved me to begin with. I really thought you didn't want me anymore," she said, her eyes growing misty.

Jack reached out and took her hand, holding it on his thigh as he drove. "I never stopped wanting you, Sam. Why do you think I made that statue?"

"What statue?"

"The one you bought in Purgatory. Didn't Daniel tell you I made it?"

"No, he didn't." Sam was stunned, but suddenly she recalled seeing the stuff in the garage in Durango and it all made sense!

"I guess he really can keep a secret after all."

Sam slapped his thigh and shook her head at him. "Shame on you!" she said, but she was smiling at him. "I had no idea you knew how to make ceramics! Where did you learn?"

"Partly from my Mom. I guess the rest comes naturally. I usually make pots; coffee mugs, shaving mugs, things like that, but I made the stature so I'd always have a part of you with me. But then I accidentally took it to the shop in a box of pots I wanted to sell. When I found out what I'd done, I drove like a bat outa hell to get it back. But by the time I got there, you had already bought it. I saw you coming out of the shop. You looked so happy. I really thought I had lost you."

Sam squeezed his hand. "In some ways I was happy. But it just wasn't enough. I couldn't stop thinking about you," she told him, as tears began rolling down her cheeks.

"Hey, don't cry! I can't stand it when you cry."

"Sorry." Sam pulled a tissue out of her pocket and wiped her eyes. "So…even though I just caused you to shoot a man, and I'm so messed up that I got engaged to another man, do you still want to marry me?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yah sure, you betcha!"

The following day found them in Jack's little rented house by the Animas River. When he'd offered to take Sam anywhere she wanted to go for their honeymoon, she had asked to spend time where he lived. And though he didn't think Durango was good enough for someone as special as her, he took her there anyway.

"Show me what you do…your studio," she asked excitedly. This was a side of Jack she'd never seen before…a softer, more expressive side…and she was intrigued by it!

They had just finished making love all afternoon in his big bed, when she and Jack went out to the small garage. She was dressed in only her pink panties, one of his flannel shirts and a pair of white sandals, and he thought she looked very young and innocent as she skipped down the stairs, hurrying along ahead of him.

"Wait up, will ya?" he laughed. When he reached the garage, which he kept locked, she was bouncing on her toes like a kid in a candy shop. So he quickly unlocked the padlock and opened the old wooden doors wide, to let the remaining daylight flood the space.

Sam's mouth fell open. "Oh, wow!" she breathed out, as she slowly walked over to the work bench where several pots sat in a row on the old wooden work bench.

"I still need to glaze those," he said as he watched her studying them. Each one was a different size and shape, and there was one with a clown's face. Sam thought that one was particularly creative. Then she walked over to the potter's wheel, the one she'd seen that day she'd come there to tell Jack he was DJ's father. But this time was totally different. This time there were no more doubts between them.

"Show me how it works," she requested, her eyes open wide with excitement as she turned to look at him.

Jack didn't say anything. He just gave her a grin that would have made any woman's toes curl. Then he opened the cooler where he kept the clay and broke off a large chunk. And next he filled a bucket with water and brought both over to the wheel, where a wooden stool sat to one side.

The wheel had to be turned by a foot pedal underneath, so he sat down and threw down the clay into the center of the wheel. He wet his hands and then he formed the clay with both hands into a sort of cone shape. Now that he had the clay centered properly, he added a little more water to the clay and to his hands. Then he pressed down on the treadle with his right foot, causing the wheel to turn. And as it turned he pushed down on the clay, continually forcing it toward the center of the wheel as it spun around.

"Can I try it?"

"Sure. Come and sit here in front of me," he said as he spread his legs apart. Once she was seated in front of him, he told her to wet her hands. Sam did as she was told, and then she put both hands around the mound of clay, surprised by how cool and smooth the clay felt…and how sexually stimulating!

Sitting behind her, Jack was already becoming aroused, but if she could tell, she didn't show it. Instead she just kept her hands on the wet clay, while he worked the foot peddle. And while Jack continued to made the wheel turn, he also began to fondle her breasts from behind, his big hands covered in drying clay, which began to rub off on the shirt she was wearing.

His hands held her breasts for a moment, cupping them, enjoying the weight of them. She was bigger than he remembered, possibly from nursing DJ. He wanted to ask her if she was still nursing, although he suspected she was not, but for now he couldn't speak. He just needed to enjoy feeling Sam's body. So, with his face pressed to her shoulder, he stifled a moan of excitement as he began unbuttoning the shirt she was wearing. Soon her top half was naked, and he had his hands on her bare skin. Still rough from the dried slip, Jack fondled her breasts, squeezing them and pushing them together. Then he used his long fingers to pinch and work her nipples, listening to her cry out when he pinched and pulled on them at the same time.

At first she kept her hands planted firmly around the clay, feeling it slide between her palms and fingers. It felt wet and cool, silky and soft, and yet solid and unyielding, as she held it with both hands. The clay felt wonderful, and she thought she could do this for hours! But Jack's mouth on her neck and his hands on her breasts quickly grabbed her attention. Sam leaned her head back, not wanting to miss anything his wonderful lips might want to do to her neck. And when they gently bit her just below her right ear, as his fingers pinched and pulled her nipples simultaneously, she convulsed in a quick but strong orgasm.

"Oh, God!" she cried out as she felt herself losing control. A part of her knew that if it wasn't for Jack, she would end up falling to the floor, but the other part of her didn't care. She felt like she was floating, and that nothing could hurt her now that she was here in Jack's tender embrace.

Jack felt her body melting into his, so he stood up, shoving the stool back out of his way as he swooped Sam up in his arms. Then he carried her to the cot where he had often relaxed by himself, where he had envisioned what it would be like if Sam was here with him. But this time he didn't have to imagine. This time she really was here, and he was really going to make love to her!

After laying her gently down on the narrow bed, he stood and removed his shirt while she watched him with half-closed eyes. Then he knelt next to the bed. Grabbing her legs, he turned her until her legs were positioned on either side of his body.

Knowing what he wanted her to do, Sam lifted her legs up over his shoulders, while Jack wrapped his arms around her thighs. His mouth on her folds, which were still swollen and tender from their earlier love making, felt so good that for a moment she almost passed out. No one had ever given her this much pleasure before! No one! Only Jack knew what she liked and was willing to give it to her. Sure, others had tried, but they'd been bumbling fools at best, whereas he was a master!

"Yes, yes, oh yes, Jack, suck me, harder, harder! Oh, God, I'm gonna come again!" she cried, feeling like she was about to burst. And then she did burst, climaxing for the second time, her fingers locked in his longish graying locks while he drew her climax out by gently teasing her tender peak with his talented tongue, until she was thrashing on the bed and begging him to stop. "No, no, enough, enough!"

Normally Sam loved feeling the silky strands between her fingers, but right now she was oblivious to everything but what he was doing to her body. And he obviously wasn't done with her yet. Now his strong arms were moving her, lifting her to the center of the bed. And now he was standing and unfastening his jeans, lowering the zipper slowly his long-fingered hands, those hands that she loved so very much. But she barely had time to study them, before he was kneeling on the bed, looking down at her, his eyes dark and sinister like some predatory animal. She knew she was his prey, but in this case she didn't mind. She wanted him to take her, to devour her, to make her his own for now and for always!

"Make love to me, Jack," she softly pleaded, begging him to put her out of her misery. And when Jack dropped down between her thighs and plunged into her willing body, filling her in one quick but deep thrust, Sam actually squealed with delight.

Hearing her emphatic cry of surrender, Jack began fucking her hard and fast, using every muscle at his command. He wasn't going to let any artificial limb slow him down! He put everything he had into his actions, thrusting in hard as he pulled her toward him with his hands around her shoulders. This was not just about making love to Sam, this was about taking back control, about making her his. This was about letting her know that he wasn't going to share her with anyone ever again! This was Jack O'Neill, a military hero, a man to be reckoned with, saying he was back now, and he wasn't going to let any man take what was his!

But by now he was so wound up that he couldn't come. He knew he needed something more, so after ten minutes of trying, he pulled out and told her to turn over. She did as he asked, and then he kneed her legs apart before entering her from behind. The different angle put pressure on different parts of his cock, including the tip, and soon he was very close.

Sam, who was enjoying the massage his glans was giving her G spot, could feel the pressure building inside her once again. And though she had experienced a G spot orgasm a few times before in her life … thanks to Jack's talented fingers … achieving one during coitus was something totally new for her.

"Oh, God! Oh, Jeezus, Jack!" she cried out, almost in shock. The feeling was unusual, very enjoyable and very intense. Suddenly she was coming and she could tell he was too, because she could feel his balls tapping her ass, and she could hear his telltale grunts in her ear.

They were climaxing together, his body pressing hers to the bed as he filled her with his love, and Jack thought that if he died right then and there, he would die the happiest man in the galaxy. But he didn't die, and after a couple of minutes he realized she might be a bit uncomfortable with him laying on her like a sack of potatoes, so he pulled out and turned around, sitting on the edge of the narrow bed. Sam crawled to him and kneeled next to him, kissing him on the shoulder.

"I love you, husband," she said when he turned and looked at her.

"I love you, wife. Now we better go inside. It's getting chilly out here."

"Hadn't noticed," she replied, giving him on of her megawatt smiles. "Your love was keeping me warm."

Jack just smiled at her. It had been a long time since he'd felt like a whole man, the kind of man who could keep Carter happy. But he was that man again now, thanks to her. And with her love and understanding he would be The Man for as long as he lived.

THE END

AN: Stay tuned for the sequel, "A Hero's Return".


End file.
